........this is one crazy ride..........

It really is funny how your emotions can change in the course of a week isn't it? Have I ever told you that I HATE roller coasters......so why does it feel like I have bought an annual pass at Canada's Wonderland right now.....this is one hell of a ride.......Monday I was feeling so determined and focused.... for the rest of the week nothing could stop me...(I must say I did get tons accomplished this week)........and then something happens! As I have said before, something is done or someone says something and it all comes rushing back........that thing, that nagging feeling locked deep inside of you that just won't go away!

This post is going to be difficult for me to write and difficult for some to read.........but I must write anyways.....I feel I need to journal about this, I don't want to forget this part........

Last night I went to a baby shower for a dear friend of mine.........I will be honest, I was a bit apprehensive about it. Most would think that I was feeling that way because it was a baby shower....quite contrary actually, I was apprehensive only because the majority of the people there I really don't see too often anymore.......I definitely have not seen any of them since T and I have started the adoption process....for some reason this was making me sooooo uncomfortable!

It really is funny, I can talk to anyone at work but put me in a room outside of my comfort zone and I am just an idiot...........it is like my tongue is actually tied....I have NOTHING intelligent to say.........ahhhh and I wish I could report that last night was different.........but it just wasn't...it felt odd and uncomfortable.........no one's fault but my own.......I have alienated myself from most of these people(by my own doing) and now things are just weird!

It all started out okay...........I meet my dear friends Jenny(the host) and Dee(the Mom of honor) in the kitchen...whew safe these 2 are great friends of mine so that was perfect....but then after I left the safety of there company, I was on my own...........Jill was not so fashionably late...my partner in crime for these sorts of situations...ahhh all right I said I am a big girl I can do this.....well as I entered the room I thought, the babies get a baby and you will be fine........so I b-lined it over to Keegan and waited for the person holding him to give him up..........ahh perfect when you have a baby in your hands, you can just talk to them or at least talk about them to anyone that comes near you..............haha my plan was unstoppable, until someone else thought they should be able to hold him....the nerve...hehe......so I had to give him up and had empty arms once again.........amazing how empty hands also for me meant, empty brain, empty social skills.......yikes........let the games begin!!!!

So the night progressed with a bit of chatter.............finally one girl that I was chatting with finally asked (after about 30 mins of me asking about her kids and what was going on in her life).........."so enough about me, what's new with you".........hmmm did she really want to know????? Nope don't think so, because before I could get my answer out she had bolted.........okay........well that was enough of that.....I needed to move on.........

So I headed to the kitchen where the babies where getting ready to leave with there grandparents for the night.............I have know Dee's parents for years, so I was excited to see them.......it was just so awesome to see them so excited to be able to take there grandchildren for there first sleepover at there house........unfortunately this is where my emotions got the best of me........I don't know why, it was not anything anyone said or did to me........it was just seeing them so excited, it just started to make me feel so sad for my parents. I know, I am sorry that sounds so selfish.........PLEASE don't get me wrong.........I am so excited for them, it just made me feel, well guilty or sad or something I can't even explain it..............but I feel that my parents are missing out.......and I just hope that they will be able to have that joy someday........because I know they will be the best grandparents....

I know how hard it is for us, and I think it must be just as difficult for them.......all of there friends have grandchildren, or are expecting grandchildren.......it must be just as hard for them to listen to all their friends stories about upcoming births or the latest tales of babysitting grandchildren etc..........

I can't pinpoint why this hit me so hard last night, all of this has crossed my mind before...but for some reason when Dee's mom said to me " FINALLY, I have been waiting years for this moment" and believe me she has...and she was just so cute last night, but I just about lost it........all I could picture was my Mom standing there saying the exact same thing...I just stood there hoping, praying and wishing for the day that she will be saying the exact same thing, as she carries her grandchild out the door!!! :)

m :)

love this.......

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the end, it is between you and God;It was never between you and them anyway.”-

Mother Theresa

I have a tough day ahead of me.......some situations that I am going to be in are making me a feel bit uncomfortable.........so I thought this quote by such a great lady, would keep me going!!! Hope it inspires some of you too!

IT'S FRIDAY................:)
m :)

bathroom horror........

There is something oddly wrong with this picture....me with a grey cape wrapped around me with a color brush in hand.......standing in front of my bathroom mirror, coloring my OWN hair!?!?!?!?

Does anyone agree here.......what the heck is going on...I own a large Aveda Salon, I employ 7 people...why am I a coloring my OWN hair......it's like the plumber's toilet that never gets fixed and the electrician that never hangs the new light in his house..........so I guess it would just go to reason the hairstylists hair is the last to get colored!

Well I was just finally sick of it last night........I was now seeing about 55 whites hairs popping up underneath my strategically placed part........I was tired of waiting for a cancellation to come up at the perfect time so I could get my hair colored by a "professional"........ahhhh what does a girl have to do around here to get her hair done???? :)

So I gathered up my tools last night before I left work and was ready to take it on......now my first thought was, hey my color has to process for 30 mins...if I put the color on before I leave work drive home....if everything worked well that would be perfect timing...I would sprint to the shower and rinse it off.....I discussed this with a few clients over the course of the day. and it was received as well as I had hoped..."Michelle what if you got into an accident or you had to stop and help someone"...etc etc........oh come on people.....but as the end of my day approached I thought maybe it was a bit excessive, I do like to use every minute of my days to the max but that was maybe a bit much......here would have been the scenario.....driving(so ideally concentrating on the road ahead)??...listening to my Jack Canfield audio CD....drinking my last bottle of water for the day....and having color on my hair...all in the comfort of my lovely Ford Escape...wow that would have been alot of shit happening at one time!!! :)

After dinner I decided alright...here we go, up to the bathroom........got all my supplies out everything....color, bowls, brushes, cape, gloves.......and towels........LOTS of towels.....now I am going to interrupt this story by telling you we have a WHITE, very WHITE bathroom...and I have BROWN, very BROWN hair.......... and just for a little added drama, we just had our bathroom painted not to long ago everything...including the vanity everything. This was going to be the first coloring that had been done since the reno.....I won't lie I was scared.......I am not known for taking my time at anything, I usually race through stuff especially when it is something to do with myself...but I was determined I would NOT get color anywhere!!!

I started with about 4 full length bath sheets...draping them everywhere........from the top of the mirror to the sink, across the floors and completely covering the counter top...........I really didn't think there was an inch of space left uncovered.......I carefully mixed up my concoction....mixed very very slowly.....put my gloves on and started to apply....slowly at first and then of course I became sick of that speed rather quickly, so I picked up the pace a bit.....ahhhh finally done...I have to say you ladies that do this all time are crazy......first off the unknown for all of you as to how the color is going to turn out...because lets face it...unless you know the chemistry behind hair color you don't really know what you are doing....you may luck out and get that perfect shade..but believe me after a few applications..you aren't going to like it...........but the mess...why why would you ever want to do it yourself is beyond me???? When you can come to a beautiful establishment such as mine and have a relaxing couple hours...with massages, coffee, water, the greatest magazines and to top it off leave with a fabulous new do??? I won't ever understand why, never ever!! ***sorry had to give myself a little advertising here*** hehe

Anyways back to my story........so I thought I had done a bang up job....no splashes as far as I could see.....wheeewwww....no trouble at all...now we just have to process and clean up.......I carefully cleaned my bowls and brushes and took the mountain of towels down....and waited...
After my 30 mins was up I jumped in the shower rinsed.........and then it happened as I was getting out of the shower I noticed something....a few tiny brown specs on the bottom of the mirror.....OH ****.........what, how could this have happened??? Are you kidding me.....after all that....aghhhhh well great what to do now??? I knew better but I went up with my towel, water still dripping from my body...shivering and tried to scrub it off.......haha that just made the smudges a little bigger a little bolder so anyone that is paying attention will notice them.......lovely.....

hmmmm.....so if any of you have some ideas or magic solutions to get this off that would be greatly appreciated.....preferably before my husband notices..so hurry.....hehe

m:)
oh and I promise (this is just if my husband does read this before I get things cleaned up).....I will never ever do it in there again???? :)

snap out of it...........

So something is totally wrong with me.........absolutely not right, not normal and it must be fixed pronto!!

At this moment in time I can't seem to get myself to spend money like I used too..you know foolishly on things I don't really need but really really want..........I don't know what it is.........is it that damn trip jar.....or the "not a budget spread sheet" that my husband has me filling out..........I just don't know....but this is just craziness.........it has to end or my spring wardrobe is really really going to suffer......... *tear*

I have had a nagging feeling for the past couple weeks that this has been happening...but I guess, I have been in denial........trying to pass it off........with "oh you just didn't have time to stop and shop", or "well you just really didn't see anything you liked"..........COME ON, get a grip Michelle.....I never "don't see anything I like" I can find a treasure anywhere.............WINNERS, JOE FRESH, TIFFANY'S, VERSCACE........haha no people, now don't start spreading nasty rumors I have never ever bought anything at either of the later 2 stores..........but really I can always find something to buy..... to spend my money on.....I can fall in love with a basic white tee from Club Monaco in about 1.5 seconds flat...that is the point I am trying to get across here....I can't really remember a time that I...... well didn't really see anything I liked!!

So it all became crystal clear yesterday.........yes it was Monday my day off...........I was having a great day......slept in a bit....got up....looked around on the web, worked out...had a coffee...surfed the web again.....the only thing I really had to accomplish yesterday was a biggy......I had to meet some girlfriends for dinner and a movie at the mall....hehe... I know tough life..........well when you give a girl a mission at the mall. you are basically demanding that she go over ahead of time to check it out RIGHT??? I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had set foot in the mall..........or that particular mall I guess would be more accurate...hehe

So I headed over about an hour and half before I had to meet the girls...........I thought I would take a wander around Winners first..........seeing that I hadn't been there since Christmas.........I know, I know this is NOT normal for me...but it is the truth(I told you something weird is going on here)..........so I entered the store with great anticipation....the minute I entered the smell of new clothes and bags and shoes was making me giddy, I couldn't stop thinking about all the treasures I was about to find...I even went as far as grabbing a CART....that is how confident I was that I would have more than 6 items to try on.........
So I started out with my favorites....the shoes.........ahh I love shoes..........and then I quickly remembered...........that, that part of my life was over........I wear granny shoes now how could I have forgotten..... and I had spent almost my whole years earnings on those damn ugly hideous black clogs, so I certainly couldn't justify buying "fun shoes" noooooo these feet don't do "fun shoes" anymore........uhpppmmm..... so I moved on...........thought I would take a peek at the purses.....I have been really wanting a purple purse....well lets see what we have here........as I turned the corner of the purse display I saw it, a gorgeous grey guess purse with the most awesome pleating detail........oh I love it I thought, and then this really annoying voice started talking to me.........you know when it seems like you have someone dressed in white( with wings) on your shoulder saying "do you really need that"..."aren't you a bit old for a guess purse"???...........ahhhhh what the hell is going on here..........so I put down the purse of my dreams and reluctantly, somberly moved on..........

For the rest of the visit I was in a daze.........nothing looked good, I even went as far as looking at the freaking clearance rack....now no offense I'm sure many of you have found wonderful deals at the Winners clearance racks...but honestly for me that is getting to be too much work, because I know if an item has made it to the clearance rack at Winners....wow there has GOT to be some problem.......there will undoubtedly be a secret button or zipper missing that I have missed when I get this damn 3 dollar item home.....I just know it!!!

I left.............heart in my boots with nothing..............I slowly walked to my car and thought wow that was different..........but then I had a jolt of excitement when I realized I still had some time to look around the mall before I had to meet the girls.......something would catch my eye there..........nope, nada nothing.............I was even 10 mins early for our dinner reservation......waiting patiently.....with only one sad lonely Le Chateau bag.........that only had a scarf in it....you know the kind, the "well I have to buy something purchase".........made at the store right beside the restaurant.....because you were so desperate to get your hands on something new at that point......ummmphhhh

I don't know what it is....what is happening...like is there some sort of crazy full moon going on here.........have I started to mature.........have I started to realize that I don't actually need a new item of clothing every time I go out...or have I realized that I just don't go out anymore....haha.......whatever this is it's new way of thinking for me........and I am not sure that I like it........practical maybe...spending money wisely maybe..........fun maybe not?????????

hehe
happy tuesday everyone
m :)
ps...........the movie the girls and I saw was Confessions Of A Shopaholic.................hmmm interesting topic isn't it!!!!! lol

Wish it...Dream it...DO IT!!!!

My weekend has been filled with a lot of soul searching.....I have been in a funk, which is just not like me.....I have stayed stagnant, become complacent ...waiting....waiting....WAITING...man I am starting to just hate that word....

I do not wait around.........I take action....all my life I have been the type of person to move on...visualize a goal and do it.....whether it is my job, my personal life..anything. Now in saying that I have made some pretty hefty mistakes...like that little thing I like to call a divorce...yeah that plan of action was maybe not the best....but that is the thing you can always fix things...

I always have been a person with dreams........now when I say dreams I might surprise some of you...my dreams really are not that grand.......I don't dream about having a million dollar home or a really crazy fancy car.......I have dreams about making a difference, leaving a legacy...I really want to make a difference in peoples lives.....so how will I go about doing this.....I have a quote on a wall in my salon....something my Dad would always say in his own way...wish it...dream it...DO IT...I started to think about it this weekend...why have I not been doing that??? That is what we do....and I had stopped.....crazy....???

I am blessed to be in the business that I am......I get to touch peoples lives everyday....my art, I love.....and have been fairly successful to this point but this is not enough for me...I must keep going......in the past year I have thought that I would wait...put my dreams, my "plan" on hold for a bit until I know what is going to happen in our life......well I have finally realized that that is just not going to work for me! I don't think waiting is what I should be doing........it is just not healthy for the type of person I am. Holding out is making me sad and depressed and anxious which in turn makes me not effective at my job, with my clients and my staff....it ends up being a bad situation all around!!!

So I am moving on....the next part of my dream plan is in effect........I have many goals set for myself and my business and our life....I am so blessed that my husband is on board always to support me and of course my family always supports us too. Which I must say is why I feel confident enough to move ahead with these dreams..........having all of their support has always been my last push to move ahead.....

The first part of my plan is going to take a bit of education on my part, so in April "T" and I will be heading away to take a Salon Business Management course.........as I have said before my passion is my art....I am a hairstylist, I love to work with my hands and my eyes and my heart....the management part of my business is very challenging for me.....and I have not been doing it very well.....so I need to get better at it...so that is what I will do......because for the rest of my plan to happen I need to be very effective at that part of the "job"! I want to feed off of others that have already taken the road I am about to take!!!

I feel a new spring in my step....a renewed passion again.........of course I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea here.....this adoption is still the most important thing to both "T" and I...but the reality of this situation is, it may not happen for months and months....and quite honestly if I stay the way I am for that length of time no BM would ever pick us....because I would be officially spending time in the "loony bin"....I just can't do this anymore....it is consuming me.....I don't like this person I have become, so I have to make a change.....working towards our dreams.......and hopefully right in the middle of all that work....the most exciting dream will happen and it won't even feel like we have been waiting at all!!!! :)

so in the words of my Dad....WISH IT....DREAM IT.....DO IT!!!
m :)

kwernerdesign challenge....

So I decided to join kwernerdesign color inspiration challenge this week! Now that I have all stampin ups inks and cardstock I was ready to roll.....

TFL

M :)

{picture a day project}

Some of you have been asking me where my picture a day stuff has gone....well to be honest I have taken the pics but haven't posted them this week........I have decided to start another blog that will have all the pics on them.....I finally got around to getting it set up this afternoon....so for any of you who are interested in looking, the address is.....

http://blogginstylepics.blogspot.com

I will be posting this weeks pics later on today and you will find them from now on at this address!!

TFL
happy sunday!
m :)

something funny is going on here???????

The weirdest thing happened at our house this morning.....or I guess, I really don't know when this actually happened......but someone or something has obviously tampered with our scale.......yes you know the one, that dreaded piece of machinery collecting dust in the corner, that thing you keep in the bathroom.......the one you never really want to get on to, but you do..... reluctantly.......closing your eyes, crossing your fingers sucking in your breath.....(like any of those things are really going to make the dreaded number any different)... you know that thing I am talking about....the bathroom scale!

Well I don't know who, what or when but obviously there has been some mistake.....because when I jumped on the scale this morning.........my usually friendly Mr Digital told me I was 5 pounds heavier than I thought I should be?????????? WHAT.....are you kidding me......and that was after I had gone to the washroom, worked out for 45 mins....(sweat it out), no clothes, no water no jewelery..........I was feeling fairly svelte.........I can't imagine that this is right........I even jumped on and off a few times......come on you have done it.........if I just strategically place my toes a certain way I will weigh in a pound lighter.........nope it didn't matter this morning........it was the same damn depressing number each time I hopped on.......whether my big toe was on the scale or not..........ahhhggggg

So I guess it is time to hunker down.....no more junk.........no more treats......no more sneaking licorice into the house..........time to get back to basics.......oh man I feel like I have done this before.........:)

here's to healthy eating and exercise....and losing those dreaded 5 pounds!!!!
m :)
hmmm......I forgot to mention that our washer and dryer have been acting up again.....my jeans seem a bit smaller, a bit snug..........hmmm you just can't buy good appliances anymore!!!!!hahaha

my heart is sad.........

So I have been trying really hard not to mention the whole adoption thing lately...I was feeling like maybe I was sounding a bit bitter or that it seemed like I was always depressed about all of this. I realize others have much bigger problems going on in there lives, "T" and I are very lucky...we have each other and wonderful families...we have much more than most and we are forever grateful.......but I guess everything in life is relative isn't it.....we are never given more than God thinks we can handle. I know that we are going to get through this...it is just really really hard!

It's funny, right at this moment I seem to be doing relatively well....that doesn't mean I don't think about adoption and our situation all the time but I seem to be more at peace with it in my head.........but my heart is breaking for my husband right now...he is sad.......he is wondering more about when and why and all of those questions that only we who have been down this road can understand.


In the past few weeks a few things have happened....as always a few more pregnancy announcement's....this time they were mostly from "T"s colleagues...which was something we haven't had to deal with to this point. All of "T's" group of close friends have had there children, so he hasn't been hit with that as of yet unlike my group of girlfriends...which are all at the same point as we are right now, so yes I hear this news all the time from them..and truly they are such close friends of mine that I am usually anticipating it so it usually isn't a huge shock........

This week some people that "T" has become close with in the last year or so, made a "surprise" announcement....you know the kind.....oh wow we were not planning on having anymore children but surprise.....:) So it definately came as a bit of a shock to us as well.....and I think it was just the timing of it all that was hard, we had heard some other couples had had there babies the same day, some people I know off were chosen by a birth mother and this was...well just one more thing....as I have said before, it is not the fact that people are expecting, have had a baby or chosen that is hard....we are truly very happy and excited for all of these people, it is just living with our unknown...wondering and wishing and hoping that this is going to happen for us too!


This is the first time in my life that my heart is truly feeling desperately sad.........I want to take all the sadness and pain away from "T".........I know how he is feeling so therefore I know there is nothing I can do or say to take the sadness and helpless feeling away.......I do know that it will get better...the feeling will numb a bit, for awhile.......until the next time.........I know that when I am sad he is feeling the same way, he wants to fix it to take it away from me..but we can't...we both have to feel this and take this journey as it comes....I know we will get through this together....and when we are sitting one day with our baby we will know that all the pain and sadness has been sooo worth it, to have this miracle in front of us........that we have been trusted by many but most of all God to have the privilege to raise this wonderful child....oh I can't wait!!!


m:)

recycle....

For anyone that knows me well....you are aware that my nails have looked hideous for about the last well lets say 15 years....:) I like to say it is an occupational hazard....coloring hair all day...working with chemicals...such as bright red, jet black sometimes even purple, well partner that with not having a ton of time for extras like walking to the back room and getting gloves...(or could that just be laziness????) my nails have been interesting shade of shit brown for sometime now!!! :)

Yes people have commented, because really you couldn't miss them....some would even try and soften their comment up by saying they just thought it was a new "shade"...yeah right........

So when I hired my good friend Rita to start working with me.....as a side bar here....Rita and I went to High School & Hair Dressing School together so we know each other well....even though I am technically her boss now....she is still very comfortable telling me how she sees it!!! lol

So Rita starts and on about day 3 she says "Michelle...I am so disgusted by your nails...what has happened to you....you are the reason I keep my nails painted at all times"....oh man here we go I thought... apparently once in hairdressing school and this was when I would tediously paint my nails EVERY night...because my pet peeve is chipped nail polish and when your hands are in water all day, they chip.... sooooo you start the whole process again day after day....anyways I guess I said that if you are going to be in the beauty business the WHOLE package has to look nice.....oh shit...why oh why do I have to make such a big deal out of things some times....man this one sure came back to bit me in the ass now didn't it!!!! haha

So away I went with my head bowed in shame and my nails carefully tucked away for the rest of the day......

Once I got home I thought well there you have it...time to start painting the damn nails again.........so I dug out my HUGE bin of over 80 shades of nail polish.......no joke honestly when I do something I go all out.....so back in the day when I had nice nails I had every color known to man.....I rummaged through trying to find a color that inspired me that day.....haha

I started with the Chip Skip and then onto the base/strengthener coat and then 2 coats of color ending with a rapid dry top coat.......and some setting spray stuff to make them shiny and dry faster........oh my this is a huge ordeal...really who the hell has time for this.........but I must say my nails look better.....okay 1000 times better........and everyone comments on them........so I ask myself did everyone notice how hideous they were, I just assumed people didn't notice....haha yeah right....honestly people they were clean nails...they were just stained!!!

So now of course I have entered into the world of buying nail lacquer again oh so fun really...so many hot colors....so I thought I would share one that is getting so many RAVE reviews when I wear it...I have now bought it for about 5 different people and everyone seems to comment on it when I wear it....it is by China Glaze called RECYCLE.....

enjoy and get those nails painted ladies...

my hood....

So I have been thinking about our neighbourhood....our condo complex....we live in a town house style condo...I like it, it's a pretty good place to live! Terry has lived here now for about 6 years, I moved in after we got married a few years ago. I think he made a great choice really, considering that I commute to work and if you are going to live in this city you really can't get much closer than where we are, for me to catch the highway.... north pole bound....:)

Now I had lived in a small town for most of my life, the town that I still work in now. I did live and work in the city in my college days, but that was just apartment living and honestly I think I still spent more time in Exciter than I did in the city!!! Yes I can admit it, I was a homebody....nothing like good old Exciter to come home too.....:)

So since I have moved I have noticed some major differences between small town and city living. Of course there are the obvious ones...shopping...24 hour shopping...Sunday shopping...hmmm I think that is it.... the one positive for me is obviously the shopping!!!!

One of the things I find very different is the way people interact with each other...and my question is...is this a "city thing" or a "neighbourhood thing"???

The thing that has been on my mind lately is about our little tight knit neighbourhood...or lack there of would be more accurate.......Now I would say there are probably 50 units in our complex...that means lots of people live in a very small area........and I can't even tell you one person's name.......ahhh that is sooo awful!!!
For some reason I have this crazy dream conjured up in my head that I am someday going to meet my "kindred spirit" in my backyard...we are going to be such good friends...we will meet out on the deck one sunny Sat. afternoon, I will invite them over for a drink discover that we have the same tastes, the same amount of kids, who are the exact same age(I know, I know we don't have any kids but this is a dream remember) the same interests and hobbies and...we even know some of the same people..........ahh it is just great, we then introduce our husbands and they become fast friends...we start doing couple dinners and girl shopping dates...lalalala life is wonderful........yes I do agree, I have been watching too much TV...this is sadly sounding like a cross between Desperate Housewives and Home Improvements....I swear I haven't been spying over top of a fence.....

But really....you should be able to at least have a nice little chat with your neighbours shouldn't you??? Take Sunday for example....the guy that lives right beside us, let me paint this picture for you..... we share WALLS with this guy...well he was pulling into his garage at exactly the same time as I was pulling into our driveway......so I thought oh good I will be able to say Hi( maybe see if he would be a potential "friend") lol.........NOPE, wrong too bad... that dude had his garage door down before he even turned off his ignition.....what the heck.....am I that bad.....and then I start obsessing with things like oh he must be ticked, I must have my music too loud or we were too noisy when we had people over.........but I don't think so, if anything his kids should stop parking the cars in the fire exit...ahh that is a whole other blog........and then the people on the other side of us.........well I think that is just one mixed up divorce situation........you know the kind... poor distraught Dad buys little condo for the in between time......when he and his wife are trying to decide it they are going to stay together or separate........how do I know this you ask, seeing that I haven't ever talked to this guy......

.....well here is the juice as far as I can see it..and believe me that isn't far.........guy moves in, right before Christmas...not much action...pretty quiet place actually...then all of sudden the week of Christmas there is all this noise coming from his side of the wall that we share.......(sad I know) it was pretty obvious it was kids.......and then Christmas morning we were coming home from my parents place and we saw it....... a lady...who seemed pretty chummy with the kids, I thought she was just picking them up but the more I investigated or more accurately nosed around I saw that she had indeed stayed the night and wasn't going anywhere fast ..... from that day on I have noticed that exact same vehicle in his driveway about 2 or 3 times a week! This type of situation has happened before...these men come in single and then leave......and I don't even know how the story turns out because I never ever get to talk to them.............come on people I need an ending here...I need to know.......did you get back together...was that your mistress...did you just get a new car..........where did you move.............please tell me???? I am a small town girl, I need to know.....lol

So here I sit trying to figure out if this is normal for city living....this just not talking to each other...more like totally ignoring the fact that anyone else exists.....or it this because we live in a condo subdivision...everyone is apparently transient... they always move around...so why make the effort if they won't be here that long.........well HELLO....we are still here and I want a new friend!!!!
I'm not sure why I have been thinking about this so much lately....I am always trying to figure out ways for me to meet new people in my "new city".......and when you don't have children and you don't work where you live this is not an easy task...believe me.......so every time a new "for sale" sign shows up in our complex I still get this giddy feeling inside and say to "T", oh maybe this one will want to be my friend!!! lol

Well, I will just have to keep on trying........:)
happy tues everyone....
m :)
ps....I have decided to start a new blog for my picture of the day challenge...so if you are interested in my pics I will post the address tomorrow!

FaMiLy DaY!!!!!!

So for all you Ontarians out there I hope you are enjoying Family Day...oh I don't want to leave out the other couple provinces that are having this holiday too..I just can't remember who gets it and who doesn't...crazy government..lets just make up our minds about this stuff and give it to everyone!! lol

I have some pretty strong opinions about family day or more accurately the fact that I am a small business owner and I now have to pay for another stat. holiday.....I am not going to get into it too much here.....I exhausted the subject last year, the first year we had this new holiday....I am just going to embrace it and let it be, what it is.....and for me personally I am going to make sure I use it as it is intended....an extra day to spend with family!!!

So yesterday was such a fun day, we had some family over (see...keeping with the theme)lol....we had a great time.....some good food, good wine and some laughs....played a few rounds of the game "things"....I have to be honest the game didn't go over as huge as I had hoped I...mostly due to my Dad, who just really isn't a game playing type of guy...too funny! He did pretty well though..........My Mom made her AWESOME homemade lasagna we had tons of great appetizers.......ohh man I have ate sooo much food this weekend....but it was all so good...you would have thought that none of us had eaten in about a month the way we devoured it all!!! What better excuse to overeat than a long weekend right!!! :)

So of course I had my camera out in full force yesterday.......I got tons of great shots....but these had to be the best of the best.....my cousin Brit just cracks me up....you've gotta love her laugh.......



As you can see these two just didn't let up all night...it was so funny, from shoulder massages to whatever else they found humorous it was continuous giggling all night!!! TOO FUNNY!!

This is how poor Jamie was feeling by the end of the festivities or maybe it was.... she was getting really sick of the paparazzi???? :)

FuN TiMeS!!!

I hope everyone is having a great Monday!!!

m :)

the "EX" factor.......

So I had a client in this week, she has been a regular client of mine for years. Now there are some clients that I have a very close relationship with, almost like a friendship and some that I have more of a work type relationship with. This particular lady I really like but would have to say it is more of a work relationship we don't really get too deep!!!

So she sat down in my chair and we did the normal chit chat.......wow isn't it cold outside, can you believe all the snow is gone.....what are you doing for valentines day..etc etc you get the idea....and then I went about my business...razor in hand I start my magic...lol.....and then out of the blue she said......."I say your ex-husband at the grocery store last week"...

For anyone that is just tuning into my blog and didn't grow up in the HC...I will give you a little background....YES I was married before........I was 21...way too young...to this day it still really bothers me that I made that mistake in my life...but I know that it has helped make me the person I am today...it ended after 2.5 years... 2 very unhappy people...and him partaking in some extra curricular activities that I was not prepared to live with or forgive......

So there I am with a sharp instrument in hand, cutting this ladies hair, who most times is a mute and I can't get anything out of her (you know the type of person that it is like pulling teeth to get to talk...aggg I hate that)....and quiet shy lady blurts out, like she has made some amazing discovery "I saw your "ex" in the grocery store"....I almost giggled, it totally took me by surprise, sometimes I even forget I have an ex-husband...but don't worry there are always people close by to remind me..haha......I replied with "wow I had almost forgotten I had an ex husband...clearly you haven't though now have you, so how is he"?..........and this is the funniest part for me...."I don't know I didn't talk to him"....................well then why, why the heck would you feel the need to tell me this information........
Honestly people....I don't really need to know when he is at the grocery store, this is not going to affect my life in any way....ahhhh small town gossipy living........I really can't believe that this lady would be in a store see this person, who she clearly doesn't know well enough to talk too and the first thing that pops into her mind even though 10 years have passed would be, oh look there is my hairstylist's ex-husband like he is some sort of celebrity or freak show or something??????? this is really weird to me....and then to tell me.............hahaha too funny.....

So everyone reading this.......just to clear some things up for you all..........there is no drama between us, no love lost, dramatic hollywood break-up..... so if you bring it up in my chair you will be disappointed...there will be no heart wrenching...dramatic reaction from me if that is what you are looking for......it ended well...as far as divorces go I would give it a 10....we were both just happy it ended! Do I wish I had made different decisions when I was in my early 20's.....yes, like not marrying him would have been a good start....or even not dating him, that might have been even better...lol......but I did and it is part of my journey...I have dealt with it and moved on.....sometimes I am actually glad that it all happened, because I was able to meet Terry 10 years later...it is wonderful how God's plans work out isn't it!!!

So really there is no need to inform me of my ex's....daily day to day tasks......unless he's said to say Hi or something....:) You can all continue on living in our town and you can even see the both of us on the same day and you don't have to feel responsible for letting the two of us know each others whereabouts, what we are doing or buying at the grocery store...we really don't need to know or care, if I need this info I would just call him myself....

ahhh don't you feel better now....that pressure has been lifted, one less job to think about...doesn't it feel great.......now you can just mind your own damn business.....and forget about mine!!! lol

Have a great Sunday....
m :)

eighteen....

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.......

17!

We awoke to a Winter Wonderland(haha) again....thought I would catch "T" brushing off his car.....

m:)

sixteen........

ughh.......I am getting into a slump already with this picture a day thing....awful I know I am only at day 16.....I am really looking forward to the photography course...for some pointers...lol
I think I need some real live people in my next shots.....:)

oh well here it is for today.....better luck tomorrow I guess!
m:)

smokin......

RUN do not walk to your nearest Sephora and get this awesome mascara....I bought it for the first time in Vegas in the fall and love love loved it.....I hadn't been able to get to TO to grab some (our closest Sephora) so I have spent the last few months trying cheap imitations...and in these sad economic times..I really can't afford to be blowing my money on numerous tubs of crappy, runny, clumpy mascara...lol :) So I finally succumbed to the pressure and ordered some online... I just got it and ahhhhhhhhhh my lashes are just so much happier now!!!
So go get yourself some your eyes will thank-you....it is called Smoky Lash..by Make Up is Forever....:)
your gonna love it!!

m:)

♥♥ something for "T" ♥♥

So I don't want to get all "lovey dovey" on Valentines Day but I do think "T" deserves a little recognition here...he is this best!! So I thought if I did this a few days early, I would get in just under the wire of all the sappy mushy Valentines Day hoopla....:)

For all the crap I've put him through, and all the future crap I'm undoubtedly going to put him through, here's to my amazing husband...

- thanks for always coming up the stairs singing in the morning....I know you are not a morning person or a singer for that matter...but it is just so darn cute!!

- thank-you for continuing to bring out the 2nd bottle of red wine on Sat nights when you know exactly what is going to happen.......I am going to have half a glass and fall asleep!! :)

- the back rubs....ahhhh for the first million thank-you and the next million I am looking so forward too!!!

- thank-you for understanding my love of entertaining....I do realize you hate it, or more accurately you are uncomfortable with the crazed person I become the week before I am a hostess....thanks for pretending to be excited every time I suggest a dinner party!!!

- for surprising me with a bag from the Bulk Barn filled with my favorite treats every once in awhile...

- for fixing the computer every time I undoubtedly have done something to screw it up...

-for buying us a TV for the bedroom...I know you really didn't want too...but it was the best surprise for a sick girl a few weeks ago.... :)

- for keeping my car clean and fixed, and full of washer fluid etc...I just love that I don't have to do that anymore....I just get in and drive.....no worries.......although do you think you could take over that little job that involves a pump???

- for understanding that I do feel the need to talk about adoption and "life" every Sat night after a bottle of wine.......when I am not making any logical sense.....even when you know you will probably end up whipping away a few tears....

- thank-you for pretending the coffee I make in the morning is as good as your favorite Starbucks...

- for always noticing when I do something different to my hair..colour, cut, style anything!

- for not calling it a "budget"...stressing that I continue spending like always, this is just an exercise to see where our money is going...

- for sitting quietly, listening when I am rambling on about various ridiculous topics... all that stupid girl stuff!!

- for always taking out the garbage and the recycling...ahh love that I don't have to do that..

- for thinking the best place to be is with me....

-for understanding that I like order...everything has it's place, and I like things done quickly maybe not the most effectively but quickly...

-for always listening to EVERY adoption story I have ever heard again and again...and always looking ready and willing to rehash them, even though we just did it the night before...

- thank-you for embracing my love of shopping...I can drag you anywhere and you are patient and almost look like you are having a good time...no matter where we are...Joe Fresh or Richmond Row..

-and most of all thank-you for making the past 5 years the best of my life....being my best friend...making coming home at night so much fun!!!

love
m ♥

15.....

So I have already given up on the Valentine's Day theme for the week....wow that was short lived wasn't it! I came to realize that I am just not the mushy valentine type of girl.....do you know that except for 1 heart scrapbooking punch in my basement I don't own anything with a heart on it??? Nope not one thing.....so I became very limited when I was trying to keep with my theme aside from posting a pic of "T" everyday...my "valentine"........haha pleeeeaaase this V-day stuff is a bit much for me.....

So you get a shot of my morning coffee instead.............:)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!
m

Chalene Extreme PAIN....and a pic of the day!

I thought I might try to do a whole Valentine's theme with my pics this week....I have no idea if I will be able to stomach hearts, kisses and gushy mushy all week long but you never know..I am softening in my old age...lol
I am laughing like crazy as I post this picture....it just seems so funny to post this right before the post below....keep reading you will see what I mean.....:)

So my new workout videos finally arrived on Friday, I was soooo pumped to try them this weekend. Sunday was the day.......I put my best workout gear on, filled my new sporty purple water thermos(what the heck do you call those things anyways), and headed down to the basement....ready to take on the world...Miss Chalene Extreme....this was going to be great!!!!

So I opened up the box with great anticipation,what was I going to find inside...wow very well done....7 DVD's nicely presented in a compact book form...a huge recipe book(hmmm, I think calling these recipe's might be a stretch actually, but that is a whole other post), and a how too book...so I quickly opened it up....now if any of you know me well...you know what comes next right.....Michelle doesn't read the how too book she just picks out a DVD and goes for it....right.........well kind of........there was a whole intro DVD that you are supposed to watch and learn how to do the exercises before you start into the program........well I didn't do that, no time people, I needed to get this thing started.........so I flipped through the book to the calendar and figured out what I was supposed to start with and popped in the DVD........and I was off.........hmmm not sure where I was off too...not the races that's for sure..maybe the chiropractor..ahhhhhhhhhh that would feel really, really nice right now!!!!!

So I started with the Burn Circuit......it was a good 40 mins....defiantly different from what I have been used to....using up to 20-25 pound weights on some exercises....so yeah I was sweating my buns off....after that I thought well I only did that half ass, seeing I was just learning the moves, so lets try something else.....Burn It Up Intervals looks interesting........ahhhh well that turned out to be 30 mins of *%@&..... crazy cardio, full out... heart pounding, sweat pouring....I can't do anything else today workout.......you will be happy to know I did recover and was able to walk and function for the rest of the day and surprisingly didn't feel too tight when I woke up this morning!!

Well it is Monday a new day...........so back down to the basement I go..........ready to take on the world...........day 2.....check the Chalene bible and pop the Burn Circuit #2 and get moving........well this one is a bit longer 45 mins....more of the same....lunge after lunge, squat after squat, burpee after burpee have I mentioned that I loath them yes I hate them so much...Mom I know I am never supposed to use the word hate but really try a Burpee and you will be using the forbidden word too)...so you get the picture..........sweating............but again, once it was done I thought well it is Monday.... I don't very often get a day where I have nothing on, so why not try another one..............okay well lets try DVD #5......WHAT WAS I THINKING?????...........This work-out consisted of crazy kick butt intervals........2.5 mins of absolutely insane cardio followed by 3 mins of endurance training...and we did this 8 times..............oh my goodness...I think I almost died down there...really I am happy to be able to write this tonight.....I kid you not...this was intense.........I have been working out for about 10 years now and never ever have I felt this way after a workout!!! You know that nausea's feeling they talk about....well I had it, I have thought that I have had it before...hahah who was i kidding.......ahhhh

..............and now the best part about this whole thing...I am freaking having a hard time just sitting on my own butt right now........every muscle in my body is SCREAMING.........it takes me 5 mins to climb my stairs.....let alone get into my truck or lift my arms, which is going to come in really handy tomorrow at work, now isn't it..........oh my gosh, this is crazy..........and to think I am going to wake up tomorrow morning and haul my butt out of a nice warm cozy bed at 6am...........just to head back down to the dungeon for more torture.........from that cute, perky, perfect body, little blonde thing.....CHALENE......ahhh man oh man and this is what $130 bucks(american I might add) gets you these days......... :)

wish me luck....I have a feeling I might be in "slo mo" tomorrow!!!!

m:)

finally finished.....

So I finally finished the growth chart that I have been working on for Danielle and the twins!

I had started one a month ago or so, but after spending the day with Dee in the hospital she told me the nursery was done in all bright primary colors, I thought I needed to follow suit!

It's funny I haven't been doing a ton of "scrapping" lately, too much blogging I think!! lol One of the main reasons I started a blog was to be able to share some of the stuff I do with my "scrappin" friends...they will think I have been deserting them...now that I have this project complete I think I will get downstairs and work on some cards. My supply is diminishing quickly!! :)

Soon I will have to get going on one of these for another girlfriend...I may just retire the "growth charts" after that!!! lol
TFL
m :)

number...{13}

One thing I know for sure is that whatever life throws our way.......we will always have each other....and I have very unattractive hands....lol...didn't want to get too deep on you guys, late on a Sunday eve.....:)

I hope everyone had a great weekend!
m

A-D-O-P-T-I-O-N.....

So last night we had a 90th birthday party for T's Grandmother. Most of the family was there and it was a fun night, it was really great to see K there looking so well after the hard year she has had.....suffering with 2 heart attacks a broken hip etc....she is a feisty old cat! We had a really nice dinner and lots of chatting!


When it was time to sit down for dinner, Terry and I sat with the kids at the "kids table". It was great, I think we are still just young enough that the "kids" mostly teenagers now still think we are okay...maybe secretly (they would never admit it) still a bit cool!!! :) So once the adult table started chatting away the kids really start opening up and we get a bit more info about what is going on in there lives! They really are so funny....


Throughout the evening, it amazed me how often the words infertility, IVF, and adoption came up........???? It blows my mind, all of these people know what T and I are going through and have gone through over the last year...but they continue to avoid the subject, they never ever talk about it with us. I don't know what their thinking is, I assume they just don't want to bring it up....obviously they will know if something is happening....but I do wish they would ask us questions because then we would be able to talk about it openly with the kids!

The adult talk about infertility and IVF didn't really bother us that much....this week in the news we have all heard about the women that had 8 babies and the 60 year old women that gave birth to twins...so of course that's what they were chatting about...I can't say that I agree with their opinions...who are they to say that someone shouldn't be ALLOWED to have had those children....after you have been blessed with your perfect children...give me a break...funny how much they had to say about people they don't even know, but they can't muster up the courage to ask their own family about there journey??? totally baffles me really.......I think it is a good thing we were at the kids table!!!

The stuff that concerned me last night was actually said at the "kids" table....on 2 different occasions the word adoption was brought up....I know that they are just kids and kids say things....like "obviously she is adopted because..etc etc"...the word was said in such a derogatory tone. After the second time this happened I spoke up......clearly I had had enough, I was tired of all these people talking about things they have NO idea about...and here T and I sat, the only 2 people in the room that have had anything to do with infertility or adoption, not saying a word.....

SO I spoke up, I looked at my niece(who had just made an adoption comment) and then at my MIL who was watching uncomfortably..."okay that is the second time I have heard the word adoption tonight not used properly....I think it is time for a family meeting"........I know my MIL was feeling really badly...she just said I've tried Michelle........I don't think the rest of the group even heard this going on.....they were too busy trying to figure out how a 60 year old women was going to raise her children....I was thinking to myself....hey guys why don't we try to figure out how the 16 year old girl who is addicted to crack, that just had a baby tonight is going to raise her child?????? agggghhh

So T and I tried to explain a bit about an adopted child to our niece....this is not her fault, she doesn't know any better. I wish her parents would explain adoption a bit better to her and the rest of the kids.......my fear is when this happens for us.......it is going to be such a huge shock for all of them...I would rather everyone talk openly about it now, so all questions could be answered. It would make things so much easier, when it happens we can just enjoy it everyone would be comfortable with it.....obviously that is not what they want to do.....I think they feel, well why would we explain something that might not ever happen....I know that sounds harsh but I truly think that is how they look at it......(I actually don't even know if 2 of the kids even know about it yet).......

I don't know how to change how they look at it, I have told them that we are VERY open about everything and we would like them to talk about it with the kids and also feel free to talk about it to us. I guess that is something they don't feel comfortable doing...I just don't know????

This whole thing is really bothering me today.......I am such an open person and this is so different for me.........I guess I just have to understand that the way T's family handles situations is very different from the way my family does....it isn't right or wrong just different...and I just need to get over it!!! LOL....

have a great sunday.....
m :)

12!

This a picture of our nieces....they are now 12 and full of energy! It has been fun watching them grow up....and who knows what will come. Last night we had a birthday party for my husbands Grandmother........all the kids entertained themselves with many games of pool...there were balls flying everywhere. By the end of the night, the girls had raided there Grandmothers draws and found some old nighties........so here they are having a game of pool in there nighties!!!

eleven...

This is a picture I took this morning of my Grandfather, ever since we lost my Grandmother last spring I have spent Friday mornings with him. My Grandma was my first Friday morning appt for years...she always came in first thing for a shampoo and blow dry and a chat. Grandpa was always pretty close by, either coming in with her or arriving at some point throughout the appt...so if nothing else I would spend at least a half an hour with them every week.
When my Grandmother passed away last spring I decided that I would still keep that appt time open and would just go and visit with my Grandfather instead of filling it with another "do".

happy friday
m :)

10....

ahhh...so I almost forgot to post a picture today, that's what happens when you forget to charge your battery at night...the camera didn't come with me this morning, so the picture of the day challenge was totally forgotten once I left the house!
I just snapped this quick tonight when I got home....pretty bad I know, I will have something better tomorrow!

m :)

mortgage is on me......

So there is something my husband said to me last night that I just can't seem to get out of my head........I'm not really sure what we were talking about or what brought this on...but T said "oh that reminds me...a couple of months ago...so and so said this..it was so weird it didn't make much sense"........ok...so are you going to tell me, I said??? Sometimes Terry takes a really long time to spit things out.....I imagine it is one of 2 things, he is either trying to process the right delivery of the particular statement, so I won't totally freak out or he really does need that much time to remember whatever it is at that moment...this I still have not figured out!....:)

So he started out really slow....well it was at work and so and so must have said something about your business...I guess, I'm really not sure...but Mr so and so then said well M's Dad would have just given her that building right??? hahahaha...............AHHHHH that shit really pisses me off....

a) this person doesn't know anything about me...I don't even think he knows who my Dad is, he has NEVER seen my shop, and how he ever knew that my Dad owned my building once is beyond me.........or is it??? and that brings me to b)
b) clearly someone idiot at my husbands work that knows more about me and my family...must have told this little tidbit to Mr so and so.......and Mr so and so is a bit slow..love him but honestly he is a little lacking in the brain department.... he wouldn't have thought anything of blurting it right out to T...

So after T told me this story I stayed calm and said well I really have no idea why I would work the crazy hours I do when Daddy is paying my bills for me...man it is so nice not to have a huge mortgage hanging over my head isn't it.....aggghhh Hello people if my Father had given me this building....why would I work as hard as I do.....please...give me a break....I love my job...but I really would love it just as much 10 hours a week instead of 60....

I know that I just have to get over what other people think...I have been dealing with people thinking my Dad pays for everything for me my whole life....I really don't know why it stills drives me so crazy...I think this time it bothered me so much because it was someone that isn't from my small gossipy town, someone that has heard this from another source...I have my thoughts on who that source was and that ticks me off even more...

I think what it boils down to for me, is this.....
I am always surprised when people talk about me, positive or negative...I honestly don't think my life is really that interesting...really people there is exciting shit going on out there in this big ole world.....this girls life is really fairly boring....:)

So for anyone reading this that thinks I don't have to pay my own bills....I am here to clarify that that is not true....my Dad is the King of the "business plan" and the taking the daughter to the banker and dropping her off with business plan in hand and letting her do it on her own....he has helped me with many many things(which I am grateful)...and I know if I couldn't make a payment on this lovely building he would have my back...but unfortunately giving was not something that he thought would teach me any "life lessons" :)
Now for my Dad, if you are reading this........feel free at anytime to take over the payments...really and truly I thank-you for all the "lessons" but I could be done with them now if that was your desire....and we shouldn't let the people down...give em want they want, give the girl the damn building already.....hahaha love ya Dad!!

m:)

number 9...

It was a gorgeous winter day here....even though it apparently was -18 or something the sun was shining and things couldn't be better(although I just remembered that my roof at the salon was leaking, I guess actually things could have been better.......haha)! I took this on my way to work this morning...I thought it was a pretty setting.....

m:)

OUR TRIP FUND......# eight....

the "TRIP JAR"....so a little bit ago I said that Terry and I had decided not to go on a vacation this year...and I also said that we were fine with it and it was no big deal.........well that is still sort of true, but man oh man this is one LONG, SNOWY, FREEZING COLD winter...!!!

We still feel very strongly about not going on principle. It would clearly be "bad form" to go away when you have had to make some pretty major cutbacks at your business.....quite frankly I don't think it would sound too great talking about how you were going to soak up the sun, while sipping a margarita along the beautiful coast line of St Maarten to your employee's who have had to suffer with layoffs..paycuts..etc......hmmpphh...this post is getting really depressing....woops back to the point here...so no, it wouldn't be very good to do that to our employee's!!!

Although ........I do think that a little mini break in the spring is in order, I do still think it is important we get away from it all for a few days..........so I need some ideas...this is what we have come up with so far....Chicago, Napa Valley...New York, New York....Niagara on the Lake....Terry has been talking a lot about this Mallorca place...haha a little island off of the Eastern Spanish Coast...keep dreaming baby!!! lol.......the Mallorca thing is a tentative plan for next year..........hopefully this won't be the case, but if our lives have not changed drastically(meaning if we are not parents yet) by next winter, we are going to take a 2 week adventure to Southern Europe....see I told you I needed to have a plan...some sort of plan B so that is it...a wonderful European adventure....:)

So as you can see we have a few places we would like to visit.....hence the TRIP FUND JAR....starting in the New Year we decided that we would start making our own coffee every morning, instead of buying it everyday.....Terry did the math and it worked out to quite a bit of "cash ol la" each week...I now have the coffee maker down pat so the stuff isn't tasting too bad....haha....it was a bit sketchy there for a the first few weeks......"inconsistent" as Terry would say....(Mr big spender who always got his coffee from Starbucks)!!!
So every day we throw in the amount of money we would have spent on our coffee, into the "TRIP JAR".......and hopefully by the time we are ready to take off we will have a little bit saved up...

I would LOVE to hear some of your ideas for a mini getaway for the spring...we would have 4 or five days...we could fly, take the train, drive anything.....so come on, don't be shy....I need your help here ladies...

M :)

seven....

I made a visit to my favorite store today....lol
I'm sure they thought I was crazy when I pulled out my camera...but I thought it might be a cool shot??

In the end things turn out for the best!

If you have been following my blog since the beginning you will remember that I had an unfortunate situation arise a few months ago. A post I had written was found by someone that I truly didn't ever think would care to read, or at the time obviously would have preferred her not to read. But she did and then confronted me about a few things that I had said. Now I am not going to get into any details about the situation again....I felt very badly that she had searched out and found my blog.....but really could not apologize, because I had written what was in my heart!

It really was an uncomfortable situation for me. I am not a confrontational person, I really feel much better just sliding things under the rug and forgetting about them. I really struggled with this because I felt so badly that I had hurt someones feelings, but couldn't take anything back. So we had to go from there!

I am so glad that the two of us took the high road, and instead of holding grudges and being angry with each other we decided to try to communicate with each other better, forget about the things that had been said and done....and really just get to know one another. Something that in our few year relationship we hadn't been able to do for some reason. Clearly the reason all the confusion happened in the first place!

It is amazing how misconceptions and misunderstandings can turn into such HUGE things in people's(especially women's) lives....imaginations take over and then you are thinking things in your head that are absolutely not true. You have yourself convinced that crazy, mean, terrible things are going on!

Now that her and I have allowed ourselves to get to know each other better we realize, that is exactly what had happened over the years.

I am grateful that I have been given a second chance to get to know this person.....I truly enjoy her company and consider her a good friend and confident. We had coffee today and the time we spent together really confirmed it for me again.

Another life lesson I guess.......something I think women have such a hard time with...actually getting to know one another. Instead we too often take that first impression(which lets be honest here is really never good), or we listen to the opinions of others! I hope that because of this experience I have had, the chance to have another great girlfriend..... I will remember this lesson from now on!

m:)

numero #6...

Ahh...I guess with all the Superbowl excitement yesterday I forgot to post a picture....:)

We had some friends over on Sat night and we ended up playing this new game..."Things" so fun!! I of course was the "biggest loser" but oh well...it was a great time!
Good times with good friends!!!

m:)

a dream.....

Have you ever awoken with this really nagging feeling that something really big just happened???? You can't really pinpoint what it was but something was changed, you felt differently about things?

Well Sat. morning I woke up and had that weird feeling inside of me....it was early as it always is on Sat morning, I went down for a run and just couldn't figure out what was going on....so I tried to forgot it and started running my little legs off to the beat of my music....(the only thing that gets me through this new interval training, sprint thing that I am trying).........I can hardly believe I have time to think let alone breath while I am doing it!! :) So I finished up my run and was about to jump in the shower and that is when it hit me........my dream, the dream I had had that night........

Now I have no idea what dreams mean, I wish I did in this instance because it was a good one...while I was having it that is....but as I stood there ready to get into the shower my head was filled with the images of this dream and I had to take a seat to get myself together...thankfully it wasn't a complete meltdown, I just needed some time to remember it and contemplate it.......I haven't told anyone about this dream, I kind of feel crazy even writing about it. I have deleted this post many times already this morning. But I really want this whole journey to be here so in years to come I can look back and see all the emotion.

So back to my dream, which I am sure you have already figured out involves a baby....a baby boy actually...I didn't dream about the adoption or the process of getting the baby....it was after all of that I guess..it was just us a family, a family of 3.....our parents and families and friends were around...it was just so...well perfect...
I don't let myself visualize this in "real life" I guess a defense mechanism just in case it never happens....this was the first time I had seen it.....in my dream, and for some reason I can still see it as clear as if it was happening right now.......

While I was sitting on the edge of the tub the dream started coming back to me....I found it remarkable, I wasn't upset...I didn't feel like crying or screaming or being angry...a sense of calm came over me....I continued to think about it as I was getting ready for work...remembering some of the little details...and then I placed in the back of my mind and continued on with my day. I knew I would revisit it again when I had time to really give it the "Moore Mull"!! :)
So that is what I have been doing today.......as I said I wasn't really sure about posting anything about this for fear that people will think I am crazy, thinking that we are now going to get the "call" just because I had a dream about a baby.....believe me I am WAY to logical to think like that....

So after thinking about it today again and giving it more thought, I am really glad that I was able to remember this dream.....it was pleasant and special and has really made me feel.......well calm.......peaceful.....I can't explain it. But whatever it is I am thankful!

m:)