sun shiny days ahead......

We are finally getting some great weather here in South Western Ontario.....it is about time...the long weekend is upon us and T and I both have 3 days off.....ahhh in a row....with no plans.....wow this is big!!

We are going to have an awesome weekend at the lake...relaxing....going to the beach....just whatever....

I have had a frustrating week so I am ready for a break....as I have said before, I love my work but this management stuff gets me down sometimes!!! I have been faced with some pretty major decisions this week and I am praying that I am making the right choices!

This is one instance when I really wish my blog was private....I have actually been thinking about that alot lately. I love that I have met so many wonderful people through this blogging gig....and as much as I love that people from my "real world" read it....the fact is I don't actually know who is reading it....and to protect the privacy of some in my life I feel that I can't be totally open on here.....I sometimes think I could use some insight from others in my network with some of the things I am dealing with. However, I wouldn't want some of the sensitive issues to leak out in my small town or community...it would be nice to think that everyone reading this has my best interests at heart....but lets face it, that is not always true.....I hear little tidbits here and there of what others say about the things I have chosen to talk about on this blog and it is not always positive......so I would never want to put information on this blog that concerns others in my life......that would be so hurtful to all of us involved.....so I guess I will just keep thinking about the privacy thing.....who knows.....

In the mean time it would be great if you all gave me a little extra prayer.....help to get me through this decision and the course of action I should be taking.....:)

Have a WONDERFUL WEEKEND.....I am out of here for a few days!!!
m :)
this is where I am going to be in about 8 hours......peace....relaxation.....can't wait!!

that's so AweSOmE!!!

check this website out.....it is so AWESOME!!!

what's on your most AwESomE list....mine is finding that crumpled up 5 dollar bill in last season jacket....ahhhh I feel rich every time it happens!!!

have a great Thursday everyone!

m:)

you all make me smile....

Today I had the most wonderful client in....someone that has been coming to me for about 15 years now.....she started with me when I worked in the city and now makes the drive to my salon about 40 mins away...she has been such a loyal client for so many years.....sending me many referrals, watching me grow from a young apprentice to now having a large shop of my own..... today we reminisced about the old days....

When I started my career I was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to work at a sophisticated upscale salon...I trained under a very well known stylist in our area. Working for him was a big challenge...most apprentice's ran out of there within the first 3 weeks crying, never looking back..they couldn't get out of there fast enough....honestly not many of us where stubborn enough to stick one year out let alone my record of 6.5 years....but let me tell you, I am thankful I did!
Raymond and I actually got along very well....from the beginning, I embraced the fact that I could learn so much from him....my goal was to soak up as much as I could from him....I knew this is what could make or break my future.
This is when I met my client today, she was actually a longtime client of Raymond's, I got to know her while I was his assistant......one day she needed to change her appt with him and needed in rather quickly, she knew she would not be able to get in with him....so instead of booking with one of the other longtime stylists at the salon, she was brave enough to give me a chance.....now remember this women was aware that I had hardly broken my scissors in yet....and she still trusted me!!! Now that is really really brave!!!

She was happy with what I did that day and we continued on with our relationship....and it has been going strong ever since.....she has since referred many of her friends to come to me from all over.....it still astounds me every time one of them comes in...that they would drive all that way just to come and see me.....

Today after she and I where finished laughing about all the drama that used to happen at the salon.....revisiting the times that Raymond would drop his comb and would clap his hands waiting for me to come and pick it up for him....or the time that he gave her some bench bangs in the effort to make her a bit more trendy, after many other hilarious stories she said the nicest thing to me.....she said
"Michelle, you are much like him you know.....you had a dream and you worked hard.... really really hard...you have overcome many obstacles and you will certainly have many more to overcome...but be proud....I know I have enjoyed watching this happen for you.......you just never know where picking up dirty combs is going to lead you, now do you"....

After that women left today, I had tears in my eyes......you know it is people like her that make it all worth it....people that are happy with what I do...that appreciate all the little things...that are kind and supportive...it is people like her that remind me how much I love what I do...and love all the people that come into my salon and trust me, not only with the obvious...their outer beauty but with all the the other stuff...the confidence's that we share...the secrets that are divulged...it is all of this that make my days SO worth it!!!

hugs to all of my clients today....old and new....
m :)

I found this essay on Sarah M's blog today, a fellow blogger that is also patiently waiting for the miracle of adoption. I thought this was a really great way of describing our journey.....it is very simply written but I felt that it truly describes what this feels like.


Different Trips to the Same Place

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You’ve heard it’s a wonderful place. You’ve read many guidebooks and feel certain you’re ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you’ll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait-and wait- and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, “Relax. You’ll get on a flight soon.” Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, “It’s not fair”.

After a long time the ticket agent tells you, “I’m sorry, we’re not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat.”

“By Boat!” you say, “Going by boat will take a very long time and costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane.” So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite that you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, “Oh be glad you didn’t fly. My flight was horrible, traveling by sea is so easy.”

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

-Author Unknown

who has the munchies???

Last night "T" and I were talking about my upcoming girls night this weekend. He was asking me if I had heard from everyone and what we where planning on doing? I rhymed off who I had heard from and what time they were planning on arriving. As far as what we were doing, well not much would be what we are all hoping for I replied. "No cooking, no cleaning, no work, no kids, no husbands.....just perfect girl time....lots of giggles, lots of wine, lots of chatting....probably some tears of laughter and some of sadness.....and most importantly lots of SNACKS"!!!!

This is where everything becomes very confusing for "T".....as I finished my little rant about what girls look for in a perfect weekend away....he just looked at me and said..."well now don't get them to bring too much snack stuff or you guys won't want to have any dinner"........WHAT???....and then it hit me.....guys just don't get it.... do they.....hello, wake-up pal....its all about the snacks for women....its about the endless array of "appies" flowing from the minute your weekend starts to the minute you have to set off for home, its about how many different cheesy dips with fancy crackers you can consume, its about trying your friends cousins sisters mothers famous summer appetizer that you have been hearing about for years, and it is most definitely about the candy that you may or may not consume but just had to bring because it looked so fun at the store......... and then after all of that is done and you think you can't stuff another thing into your now much bigger stomach and expanded thighs, you stop for ice cream on your way back to your real life....just to make the blissful weekend away last that few minutes longer....yes my dear husband women don't really care about going out for dinner, it is all about the snacks!!!

But instead of going on another tangent......I just looked at him and smiled...and said "yes T you are right, we better not eat too many munchies or we might spoil our dinner"....

m :)

domestic goddess, I am not!

Today I had some bizarre notion when I woke up that I would do a top to bottom clean at the cottage. I have no idea what got into me really, I had my day all planned the night before. I was going to get up do my workout, do a bit of a clean, you know the bathrooms and a quick once over with the swiffer and vacuum. I am having a girls weekend up there on Sat so I did want the place presentable but come on today was obscene!!

It all started with one little tile.....our floor has been bugging me lately well actually since the minute I walked into the place and decided it had to be mine...the floor is hideous but unfortunately is in great shape. Who knew that 70 some years ago they made things to last so long....ugghhhgg....my initial thought when we started our plans was the floor had to go...but as the plans started mounting and I started to do a rough estimate in my head.....well lets say the multiple Ikea trips won and the floor had to stay.......

So I did my best....got down on my hands and knees and my Moms hands and knees were also involved and we scrubbed! Well it didn't look too bad....with the help of a few scatter rugs it was good, after all it is just a cottage!
Well that is what I have been saying to myself for about 3 months now....oh don't worry about it...it is just the cottage.....by next year you will have convinced yourself and T that a new floor wouldn't only be esthetically pleasing but necessary....

But for some reason this morning I woke up and the floor looked even more like the color of pee than it had ever before...it was just gross....it just plain looked filthy!!! I couldn't stand it any longer! So down on my hands and knees I got with my toothbrush in hand and scrubbed....
I decided I would start with one tile in a spot that you don't really see and if it made a difference I would make my decision about my day then...........well guess what, it made a difference...damn!

Off I went to the hardware store to get my supplies....some TSP, some heavy duty scrub brushes and I was ready for war!.....Well I started this little project at 9am and did not get up off my knees until 2:20pm.........OMG.....I have blisters everywhere it is insane.....my back hurts and my hands actually feel numb.......What the heck........who does this....why would anyone do this for a living...I can't even imagine it!!!

The floor looks good yes it is now the correct shade of cream...I think, who knows though maybe if I gave it one more round it would come up even more, but the fact of the matter is it is still butt ugly...but now that I have put some blood, sweat and tears into it....I can't even imagine covering it up......... one thing I do know for sure is, from now on when I leave my money for the lovely ladies that come and clean our condo they just got themselves a raise...big tip coming your way ladies...I wonder if T will give me a big tip for all my hard work....hmm kind of doubt it!!!

A Domestic Goddess I am not!!!

rejection never felt so......good...?????

Well well well today has been a very interesting day!

It amazes me still how in just one instant your day, your mood....your whole outlook on your situation can change....in a flash!

Today has been one of those days for me, yes I have been feeling tired, blue unusually down...wondering why and saying over and over it's just not fair and then getting those punch you in the gut reminders that your life is pretty darn good...comparatively speaking to the wonderful woman I just met, that went in for a mastectomy today.....or the daughter that is about to lose her father to cancer...all those moments that make me wake up and realize this too shall pass and what is meant to be will be!!

But today finally I feel a bit better about our situation.........it is funny how innocently this all transpired, yet how much better it has made me feel.....I have been feeling very self conscious about us and this whole adoption thing...funny how reading others stories and seeing other profiles and hearing things from clients and coworkers can make you go from a very confident business women back to the chubby self conscious preteen that I once was.....yes I remember those days very well and do not want to go back. That was it though, I was doubting us....thinking negatively instead of pushing the power of positive thinking!!!

So today I emailed our social worker to tell her that we had contacted a lawyer that she had recommended.....thinking we should open up some new doors....I also said that we would be adding some stuff to our profile now that we have the cottage etc....I wondered if she could see any other changes we should make to our profile while we were at it!


Her reply to say the least was much more than I had ever anticipated...I am sure she could sense my frustration even via email, so she replied saying I think I should tell you about this situation...soooooo.....it turns out our profile had been shown to a couple just last week and the feedback was very very positive....ultimately the couple decided to keep the baby, which honestly knowing a bit about the situation I think was the best thing......in some crazy way this made us feel better, least this was a bit of action...
After so long of nothing it is just nice to hear that someone out there thought we looked okay, thought we could actually parent a child........I was starting to feel so insecure about this whole thing....it was making me nuts...I know it must sound so weird that we are actually feeling better after a failed match....but knowing all the details surrounding this situation, I truly feel this is the way it was supposed to work out...for various reasons!

Our social worker also told us we are making history here....the first time ever that this area has gone almost a year without a match....wow...not good, we need to change this...and fast!!!
what a time to join this long list of waiting couples.....but in the words of our social worker...this is how she ends all of her emails to me......"remember you are my ONLY childless couple....hang in there we will still keep plugging away"!!!! lol

So that has been our day.....you just never know what is about to happen....a good reminder for us really.....don't get to comfortable it could all change in one instant......:)

m:)

the mexican fiesta!!!!

So here are some pics from our friends BBQ on the weekend....mexican theme.....so fun! We had a great time.....and there is proof that I had a bathing suit on and went swimming.....I will say there was a bit of peer pressure with getting into the pool just as I had expected!!! lol man what is it with people these days.....hehe.....I couldn't believe how terrible the weather started out on Sat.....I thought to myself well wouldn't you know it....I have prayed for something to stop the swimming aspect of this party for years now and it has always been blazing hot...and now finally I get my nerve up and it is going to rain all day....geeezzzz....but luckily it cleared up in the afternoon and the rain stayed away........so in the pool I got...although I did wait until dark....:)


what a feast we had...mexican all the way....

Nicole, Julie and myself and lots and lots of candy.....:)

PROOF.....me in a bather, in the pool...in the dark.....lol

the five muskateers.....these 5 guys have known each other for over 30 years...and they still are best of friends....it is so awesome....do you like their matching facial hair!!!! haha

good times!

melt down and movin forward.....

So last week was a big time melt down week for me.....it all started with that damn bathing suit trauma I am sure....lol

Last week brought so many ridiculous comments from people and one event that stopped me in my tracks....sadly one of my co-workers said something to me that hurt so much, it took me a bit to get through it and see that she didn't mean to be so hurtful, it just totally came out the wrong way. I now realize I spend a ton of energy at work trying to make people believe that this whole process is NO BIG deal...I try to make everyone else feel better about it.....people say stupid things and it is always me saying OH NO don't worry, this is what it is and it's okay...blah blah blah......
There was a day last week that was totally unbelievable....I looked at no less than 3 sets of newborn pics...I heard 2 different stories of clients daughters expecting....and then to top off my day....I heard about a couple that was being presented to a birth mother...now this couple is not in our county so we would never be presented in this particular case but it just hit me...and for a few minutes (well hours) I was really really feeling down....not that I wouldn't be very happy for this couple they are great...and so deserving...it just seems so frustrating sometimes......when my friend told me this news she also followed it up with..."oh I just feel so bad for them....this is such a hard process for them...it is different for you, I guess...I just feel awful for them" with tears in her eyes????? I was stunned....what, it is different for me....HOW please tell me how this process is harder for another couple.....ugghghghhg.....this is when I realized it is time for me to be a bit more honest at work.....my coworkers need to see that no it is not different for me.....everyday here is a huge struggle.....

So after an evening of me resembling a complete crazed lunatic, I decided it was time.........I love our social worker...love her and ideally want our adoption to go through her.....but there is just nothing going on in our city....now this will seem strange to all my friends who are living in the United States...but things seem to be very very different in your country... here there is just nothing...there has not been a private domestic adoption done in our city since last August.....that's right nothing.....our profile has not even been looked at since then!!!!
So I have started to contact other places.....it is expensive but I at this point what is a bit more money...we are meeting with another lawyer in August and I have my eye on another lead that we may make an apt with. I feel better already just having an apt made with someone else...we will meet with him and hopefully love and trust him just as much as we do our social worker.....hopefully then our profile will at least be looked at....and of course chosen!!

So here is to moving on to the next thing.....
m :)

I'm in love....

I'm in love.....with Bayfield, with the cottage...with all the wonderful little treasures this village has to offer...with the fact that it is a place that I can relax...and I am so glad "T" agrees!

This weekend we had a function going on in the city last night so we didn't come up to the cottage until this afternoon. As I was driving here I was thinking to myself...oh was this stupid maybe we should have just stayed at home...is this a waste just coming up for one night....well it didn't take me long to realize it was not a waste at all. Most of our "work" is done here or at least what we are going to do for now...so today we could come in and do whatever we wanted! It was a gorgeous day...so I took my book and read out in the sun...."T" wanted to relax inside on the big comfy couches and have a nap.....I even came inside and had a bit of a cat nap myself....I haven't done that in years....I don't usually let myself relax this much.....it must be something in the air here.....and I love it!!!

After my nap I took my new/used bike(thanks mom and dad) and rode around the village.....exploring little hidden areas that I hadn't since I was a kid.....looking at all of these places as an adult is so much different.....taking in all the beauty and charm of the place. The whole time I was riding around I just kept saying and thinking to myself.....how lucky we are to have this opportunity to have this place!

I really can't wait for my Grandma to come and see it and see that we are enjoying it so much! Thanks to her we have been able to have a place to have some calm....have some fun and really enjoy each other and all the things life has to offer!

m:)

tanks and birks

So this has been a big year for me, most of you have been through all these life changing events that have lead up to this moment....but for those who haven't let me retrace my steps....

-about 8 months ago I woke up with a crazy weird excruciating pain in my left foot....yes remember that people the day that I had to buy Grandma shoes...........yes that day...
-and then there was the day not too long ago that I decided it was time to invest in some strappy summer Grandma shoes....
-so clearly now you can see that I have about 500 bucks tied up in the ugliest foot wear going....but yes yes they are comfy....

Well today has been another big day for my feet and well my whole body actually......I will start off with my feet.....after our few days off it has become clear to me that I need some comfortable casual shoes.......like the 2 dollar old navy flip flops just aren't cutting it anymore.......sadly because you know I am a quantity over quality girl.......this investing in my feet is for the birds........but I did it.........I am now the proud owner of 2 not 1 but 2 pairs of Birkenstock's.......ahhhh ugggg hahahah I can't even believe it....you know what I used to call these things that I am now sporting...."Jesus Shoes" I kid you not, my Aunt and Uncle have always worn these and I would always make fun of them.........see I have said this before whatever I say with passion usually ends up biting me in the ass eventually...

So the next issue of the day was the fact that we have a Summer BBQ to go to this weekend.....now I stress out about this BBQ every year.......and it isn't because I don't like the people there....actually I like them very much it is always a really fun time.........so what is it you are asking.........well they have a POOL.............ugggg and everyone goes swimming???? Like what the heck why....come on people did you miss the memo.... the pool is just for atmosphere not for actually getting wet or cooling off...no it soul purpose is to look pretty man when will they get that........and then of course as soon as 1 person gets in everyone gets in...being the person on the edge with the tip of her toes in the water is never fun really especially as soon as everyone starts saying "are you coming in?...why don't you jump in?.....aren't you hot?...do you want to borrow my suit?..oh it is soooooo nice in here come in!!.......STOP NO if I wanted to get wet and put on a bather I would you idiots...stop asking me..lol....ughhhhh.....
Well I am tired of being so stressed out about this.....I am tired of being self conscious about myself too, but I doubt that that is going to go away anytime soon......yes I do realize that unless I decide to go to the party in a Scuba Suit I will never feel totally comfortable but I figured their had to be something to make it a bit better......so after about 2 hours in our bedroom today having multiple meltdowns, over the fact that I hated every single piece of lycra I own...I went out and bought a pretty nice black tankini.....not bad...nothing is going to help these legs but this isn't half bad!!!

WOW mature or what......I guess this is where it all starts.......you buy a tankini...then you buy a couple pairs of Birkenstock's..........whats next......who knows.....I hope this is it for a bit though....lol

m:)

back to the grind.........

Well it has been awhile hasn't it?!?!?

I am back after a very busy couple weeks and a few days of R&R......to start out the last few weeks at work have just been nuts! I had an unexpected loss of an employee....which is always super annoying and a few ridiculous clients with issues, not to mention brides coming out of the wood work and finally finishing up with all the grad stuff......so you can imagine how happy I was to have a few days off after Canada Day!

It always amazes me how quickly a few days off goes by.......I can't believe that it is over and time to head back to the rat race!!! We are in the thick of summer vacation right now...which means less staff and tons of people in the shop that are in the area on holidays wanting a new do......

We had a great few days off.....although the first few days the weather just sucked.....I didn't think summer was ever going to get here last week at this time.....Sat. things turned around and we had some good beach weather! It was great! We had some friends over a few times for dinner and had a bunch of time just to chill out......perfect........I can't wait to do it again!!!

For now though I will get back on the saddle and concentrate on work.....luckily I love my job so I don't feel like it is a terrible place to be...:)

m :)