Plan A or B.......

We are having a very emotional night here at 340 Ambleside...why is it that sometimes you feel great, it is like you have forgotten all the crappy stuff going on in your life. Things like Blackberry's, a really busy day at your business or just making someones day is all you need to feel really really good and happy.....and then it hits you....kind of like a storm brewing..it starts really slow, it is a combination of things....just a few little details in a consecutive order and then disaster hits....
It is Sat night after a couple glasses of wine, not enough sleep, a few hours of chatting and here we are right back to the place we don't want to be....discussing the future...the future that is so unsure, unsettled and obviously driving us both a little mad!

Now I do know that every single person reading this..has NO idea what their future holds....but once again this blog is about me and my life so it is my time to vent.......so this is your chance to STOP reading....this may be a bit of a pity party..so be forewarned........:)

Both Terry and I had different "moments" tonight...you just never know why or when they are going to hit you...it could be a song, or reading a certain blog or a snippet of a discussion one of us had with someone.....you just never know what is going to trigger an emotional moment....one thing we do know for sure is that the way life is now, is not the way we want it to be for the rest of our lives....yes we do have a wonderful life. We have each other which is an amazing gift...we have great jobs a beautiful home, the most supportive family and friends....I know, what are we complaining about right??

Well we are not complaining, we do realize this is our story, our journey...this part is just really, really hard........I guess we did not ever anticipate how hard it was going to be!

Something that we discussed at length tonight was, okay if this doesn't work out the way we want it too...well, what's next??? We know that we don't want life to continue the way it is...working and our businesses can't be our only focus for the rest or our lives? So we discussed...what is Plan B then...we have to be realistic......that may be our reality.....

I am a planner...that is just the way I am, so this has been VERY challenging for me...so of course when Terry asked the question what are we going to do if this doesn't work out the way we want it, my first reaction is okay lets just plan(I will get a pen, paper and we can get a list together, have I ever mentioned I love lists)....Plan B.........hmm okay well when exactly is Plan B going to take affect? Well that is a tough one seeing that the thought 0f having Plan B take effect means that Plan A, the original plan the plan we really really hope for didn't happen.....
hmm not getting very far with my list........

So we sat and looked at each other.....I put my pen and paper down and and we comforted each other in silence....we need to just relax and let this happen the way it is supposed to....it doesn't matter how many Plan A or B's we have........things will work out in due time. We will look back on all these half written lists and laugh.......or we will actually be living in a Villa in Tuscany....running a bed and breakfast....:)

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