ahhh.....finally we are alone!!!

Okay so it you are here reading these words on this screen, that means I invited you!!! Thanks for wanting to share this "adventure" with me.....and an adventure it has been!!

I really am not sure why all of a sudden I just felt that I couldn't write to just anyone anymore....but it was just getting to be TOO much....I was constantly worried about what people were saying and thinking about the choices I had made....and that is just crazy....so here we are....privatized...:)

I do have tons to write but not tons of time.......the first thing on the agenda is the fact that we were in a national newspaper today....and I feel actually sick, and nauseous about it!!!

When we were approached about doing the phone interview we thought it would be a great idea....maybe a bit of exposure and we would be able to explain our reason for doing a slideshow....well I am not sure if we were speaking a different language or what but I think something got lost in translation, with our new friend Wency...the author of this little piece.....no where does it say...this is not a "youtube" thing(my exact words I believe)....this is a profile/slideshow that is posted on a website called CanadaAdopts....where successful matches are done, where expectant mothers/fathers/grandmothers/friends go when they are thinking about adoption....this is where hopeful adoptive couples go to network with each other and give each other support!!!!

Aghhhh I am so frustrated....I know that I shouldn't be so concerned about what others think but this article makes it seem like we put a movie together with our best pics hoping someone would see it and like us, think we are pretty enough to parent their child.....like some sort of reality show or something....man it really pisses me off!!!

Some of the comments are not good that are following the article on-line.....people are just not understanding what adoption is about or what we were trying to achieve by doing this....I get that some people are going to disagree with us....they are not going to feel that it is appropriate to do a slideshow or anything on the Internet....I know that and that is okay....but some of these people are vicious.......

The absolute worst thing though is.....I went and picked up a hard copy.....like an actual paper this afternoon....yes the kind that you buy in every grocery store and corner variety store in the city....and you can imagine my gut wrenching sicking feeling I had in my stomach when I saw my face and the face or our good friends daughter on the cover........ugggggg honestly NEVER ever would we have "okay'd" putting a pic of anyone but ourselves in this paper.....man what were we thinking.....I just can't believe how naive we were.....
We have talked to our friends and they are super supportive and understanding but truly what else could they say the damage is done....if we had been asked that would never have happened...never.....I feel just awful about it! This should not have involved anyone else...now their are no names mentioned besides ours but still......

I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see a new paper at the newsstand and my mug shot not be on the cover......
ahhhh thanks for listening.........
I don't know what all of this is going to lead too....as I said to Terry this afternoon...this is either going to really really help us or its really going to be bad???????????????????????? who knows....I guess this is one of those times you made a choice and now you live with it!!!!

m