Monday, January 24, 2011

jan update.....

Well it is January...almost the end of the month. There is just the tiniest bit of snow falling as I look out our back window...falling on the white landscape....funny how pretty it looks when you are all cozy inside!!

This has been a month of ups and downs for us.....ups when we are thinking about our winter vacation on the horizon...ups when we are together chatting about our plans for the summer...dreaming of deck plans...downs when we are in between different adoption opportunities...now to say opportunities is maybe too strong of a word to use for what has been happening lately but it does make one feel like they are on some sort of crazed roller coaster.....this being the upside and downside of internet adoption sites.....almost bi-weekly we have an inquiry from a woman that is expecting or her daughter might be expecting....they either contact us by email or call my cell....I can't count how many hours I have spent talking, sometimes counselling women, or writing back and forth.....only for things to just end with no explanation.....the odd time our social worker might find out the conclusion...which has so far always ended up with the woman deciding to parent their child....again we have no problem with that....it is just the up and down of it all........

I wish I could say that my stomach doesn't do a flip flop, everytime I see an email come through on our exclusive adoption email account....I try not to think about any of it....I try so hard but it is impossible.....after a few emails or conversation....you are sucked in....you know their story....you care about them.....I can honestly say that I still think about each and every one of them.....just every once in awhile they pop into my head and I wonder how they are doing.......I start to care about them...and hope that everything has worked out.......

Yes this is frustrating....I can't even think of a positive send off here...and I do always try to find an upside....but I'm tired, worn-out with this whole thing.....
m

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You don't need to worry about leaving things on a positive note...you're only human. Sometimes it's hard to stay positive, even though I think you're doing a fabulous job with your outlook!! Keep the Faith, Michelle. I know it's hard to do with these ups and downs...I'm still praying for you. Your strength is encouraging! :)

xo Jodi

Chantalle said...

I have been thinking about you a lot and wondering how lings have been going for you and your hubby, so I thought I would pop on and see if you had any recent posts....

I dont really know what to say to comfort you since we both know there is nothing that I could that would...So...I just want you to know that I am always here if ever you need an ear...The ups and downs will be over soon enough and your dream will come true...I just know it!!!
Lots of love and hugs!
Chantalle