Sunday, May 31, 2009
I have done this once before in my life.......when I was in Grade 11 I did an Spanish Exchange program...I spent 3 months living with a family in Valencia Spain.....I know what you are all thinking....oh my how lucky...what a wonderful experience...and you are correct....I was very lucky, very fortunate to have this amazing chance and see what life was like in a different country...what it was like to live with another family and of course to learn a new language.....what sucked was...I WAS HOMESICK.....VERY VERY homesick.....uggg when I think of that time I am so disappointed in myself because I wasted my 3 months there worrying about going home and how long it would be until I got home....instead of enjoying the moments I was having.....anyways back to how this relates to my mathematical challenge I did today....
When I was in Spain I was so distraught that I actually figured out the exact amount of minutes...yes you read that right I calculated the minutes that I had to spend there.....I had it all laid out(graph form) in the back of my diary....which I still have by the way....I had the weeks, the days and the minutes all calculated...and I would tick them off day by day..agonizing about how many days and minutes I had left......I know very strange....
So today I got to thinking about our adoption.....about everything that has happened since our homestudy was finished....since we have been "waiting".....I started this blog, I have made some wonderful new friends through the blogging community, my girlfriend has had her baby...a beautiful baby boy, it feels like all my friends have become pregnant(I know that can't be true but after this week that is how it feels) and some have had babies....we have been busy creating a summer getaway spot to enjoy...we both have continued to better our businesses....and many other great things have happened over the course of waiting period thus far.....and then I thought......how long has it actually been.....for some reason today I needed to know the exact number of days.........
So the counting began......288.....that is the number.......wow....did I really think 288 days ago that it would take this long, I don't think so......back 288 days ago I was so naive....thinking that things would happen so quickly.....at that time I can remember getting butterflies in my stomach at the thought of maybe having a baby by Christmas time.....and then Christmas passed and I thought for sure my best girlfriend and I would be sharing the "newborn" experience together....well that has come and gone also....and now I have stopped imagining, I just won't let myself be disappointed again....so today I ask myself, what have I learned in the past 288 days??
Well I have learned that everything happens for a reason.....I have had many of those moments in the last 288 days....I think in many ways I have become a much more patient person.....and I do believe that whatever the amount of time we wait has a purpose.....God has a reason for this "waiting" time...obviously something just isn't quite right yet...we still have some things to do....and I truly believe this....this will happen when it is supposed to.....so instead of looking at that number and feeling sad I am going to look at that number and be thankful for this time that we have had as a couple, we have had a wonderful 288 days.....and even better we have had 288 more days to prepare ourselves to be the best parents we can be, when the time is right!
Friday, May 29, 2009
He continued on his way down the aisle trying his best to manoeuvre around all the treasures in the store....as I watched him I looked into his eyes and saw such sadness there.....I can't imagine his frustration...the frustration that he faces everyday.....just doing the simplest of tasks must be so challenging.....I have no idea what has happened in his life........was he born with this disability or was he in an accident at some point and has been wheel chair bound ever since??
As I watched him turn the corner to start down the next aisle, I had a wave of sadness come over me...and than I knew what my next most thankful thing would be......my body and my health......now when I say my body I don't mean how fat or skinny I am how I look in a bikini or not....I just mean the simple fact that everyday I am lucky enough to have all my limbs working...I am able to do everything and anything physical that I wish.....you know there are so many people in this world that don't have that option......they struggle everyday!!!
Here I am worrying about what workout I will do next so maybe I will get my legs toned for a nice new pair of shorts this season.........give me a break.....just the fact that I have the option to workout is such a gift.......
so that is number #9.......my body and my health something no one should ever take for granted!! Thank-You to that special man that I bumped into today for making me remember this!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I was reminded of my Grandmother last Friday night as I curled up in the quilt that she made for me. T asked "is that a quilt that you saved from the cottage" and I immediately said NO my other Grandma gave this to me, she made a quilt for each of us. I don't know if any of the others have received their's yet...as it was Grandma's desire to give the quilts as a wedding gift. I reminisced with T about how my Grandmother always had a quilt on the go....all laid out on the dining room table....I was always fascinated by all the squares of fabric, and how she would painstakingly put it all together!
It really is amazing how as we age our memories of our childhood start to resurface and somehow mean so much......or is it because she is gone now....that I remember and wish I could chat with her now......I wonder...ahhh why didn't I get her to teach me more about gardening...or quilting or sewing....darn....all of these things seem important now.....but at the time when she would have been so excited for me to ask for her help....I was too busy being a teenager and a young adult that I guess had better things to do than spend time with her.
I won't pretend that we were ever that close...........for some reason that relationship never blossomed like some. I have friends that I have always envied because they had super close ties with their Grandmas....mine was not like that! I suppose we are all too blame......but that is the way it was........
I am trying to learn from that because it is now a regret.........but luckily I still have time to nurture the relationships I have with my other Grandmother and Grandfather..........I will say though, they have tough shells to crack....private and not the lovey dovey Grandparents you see in our favortite sitcoms and movies....but I will keep trying....so much to learn from them and I don't want to miss a beat!!
Here's to a wonderful women.....my Grandmother.... and for all the lessons she continues on giving me everyday!
Monday, May 25, 2009
For this I am truly grateful.........I am so lucky to have many people like this in my life.....some are family members, some are dear friends, some acquaintances....if more people in this world lead their lives with thoughtful, kind compassion towards everyone they met like the ones I met on Sunday...wow what a world this would be!!
So that is number #7 for me.......to the wonderful folks I met on Sunday and everyone out there that strives to be kind, thoughtful...supportive and gracious....everyday!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I get that I don't have kids and that maybe I just don't understand.........but come on.......your children are a blessing...no matter how you did it...whether you have been fortunate enough to have your children naturally, you have adopted...........whatever............you are SO LUCKY........so please do not say out loud, in the presence of your children that they are a pain and if you had known this was how it was going to be you wouldn't have done this.........or the ever popular "I would think about this M before you do this whole adoption thing, because if I had to do it again I would never have any children....your life as far as I'm concerned is perfect"...........
I have had a few things come up today that seem to be following this same theme........and quite frankly it makes me nausea's that people would say such things about their children......I guess you are right.......I just don't understand????????????
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
We had a wonderful weekend up at the "cottage", man that still feels really strange to say out loud.....crazy..... it sounds way to grown up or something for me to be saying...I hope no one gets the wrong idea when I say that word because it is really a cottage cottage nothing fancy....seriously....anyways back to the point of this thankful blog...which actually has nothing to do with the "cottage"...lol
So the next thing I am thankful for is my relationship with my sister in-law. I really have no idea if she reads this blog....if she does, I am sure she may be surprised by this!
I just love that I have been able to get to know her so well and am very grateful for our relationship. She and her family came up for a visit this weekend and after they left I said to T that I was so lucky to have a sister in-law like her(and I have had a few from a previous relationship, so I feel that I can be a good judge of sister in-law character) lol lol!
Seriously though, we get along great....have some of the same interests...think similarly about many things...I really like spending time with her, and know that if I needed something, advice etc I could always talk to her....as well as T, I know we have chatted before about this is he too feels very close to her....and knows that we could always count on her and her family!
I think the fact that I have been doing her hair for almost the entire time I have known T has really made a difference in our relationship......we have spent 2 hours together every 6 weeks which has given us tons of one on one time that we may not have had otherwise!
So that is #5 on my thankful list....here's to a great sister in-law!!!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
"Perhaps if you would take this one step further and realize that the only One we are really responsible to is... God...not humankind at all... then the rest comes much more naturally and easily. God is the One who ultimately forgives us and loves us despite our mistakes. When I finally got my head around that then living this life has been one of happiness despite my continuing to make lots of mistakes and be hurt from time to time. Life is such a blessing and not to be wasted for even a moment." Love, Mom
This brought me to the next thing on my list that I am most thankful for....my faith........I feel so blessed that I was brought up in a family that has tremendous faith...we were always taught how important it was to have it and if nothing else, that faith would get us through the most uncomfortable, hard times............now I know there have been times my faith has faltered, sometimes I will admit it is stronger than others...but it is always there.....it is always ultimately the thing I turn to in my darkest moments....believing that everything will turn out as it is supposed to because I have faith....
I am so fortunate to have people in my life that keep reminding me how important having faith and trusting in God really is!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
WOW I suddenly realized mid complaint.........how lucky I am to have a job.......to have a business...to have wonderful clients......to have great staff to work with everyday.......thanks to all of these things I get to enjoy so many wonderful things everyday......nothing too extravagant.....just great day to day things........that SO many people never ever get to enjoy!!!
So today I am thankful for my job, my career...and all the wonderful things that go along with it.....all day even in the most frustrating of moments I have been reminding myself how lucky I truly am to be able to work hard at the career I choose and most of all the career that I love.
Monday, May 11, 2009
so I started the torturous job of trying on all of my summer stuff and started to assess the situation....what we can use and what we can't..........I figure now that we are going to be "beachin it" I might just as well get over myself and get some shorts and tanks and some more "swimmers"......oh brother.......I think I might just have to show my upper leg this year..........
or maybe not..............I have decided that will not be happening once again....no way, no how... never..........these legs are just hideous...........they have not got any better even though we have donned the support hose for 3 months this winter to combat the varicose vein issue......even though we have probably done up to 10,000 squats since Christmas.........no they don't look better.....they might even look worse than the last time I laid eyes on them....at least last Sept when I was waving goodbye to these bad boys they had a bit of colour.......aghhhhh :)
so let me get to my point...........the second thing that I am most thankful for is the CAPRIS PANT......ahhhh the greatest invention......the long short...the peddle pusher, the capris whatever you call them....I love them........they have enabled me to join the "summer lovin" crowd......show my calf but not my knee.........they are just great.........I have many many pairs....in an array of colour choices..........and they have been my saviour, for the past 8 years of so.........I seriously don't know what I will do if they go out of style.........lol lol
so there you have it........#2 THE CAPRIS PANT.....(my most thankful things are in no particular order...haha)
happy monday everyone
Friday, May 8, 2009
So my first thing I am most thankful for is my husband.........I know sappy sappy but really, I would be a mess without him........geezzzz he really keeps things together around here.....he has made my life so complete...........he is my best friend and I can't imagine life without him. I know when things are not going just as I want them too or I am having a really rough day.......the thing that gets me through is knowing that I get to come home and be with him.....he grounds me and somehow makes things look brighter and better every time!!!
For all the shit that I has happened in my life.......at times I never thought I would get through it, but when I look at my husband it all seems worth it..........if not for all of those experiences I would never have had the chance to meet "T" and would never had the relationship I have now......
So the first thing I am most thankful for is, of course........."T"!!!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
1.What’s your current obsession? almond butter on rice cakes...this too shall pass....
2. What’s your weirdest obsession? hmmm this is tough I am always obsessed with something and it is ever changing...I think T would say they are all weird.
3. What are you wearing today? jeans, black hoody and a hat...its Monday....(well when I wrote this it was Monday...it is now Tues night and I am in comfy pants and a tank...)
4. Why is today special? today was special for a number of reasons, I spent the morning at the cottage just fiddling around....had a really nice lunch with my Mom and then had a wonderful visit with a my girlfriend and her new baby....then home to have dinner with my husband...what could be better....(today was special too....I had an extra day off so that of course made it extra special.....had my hair done...that is major in my life....haven't had it done since Oct....YIKES and I call myself a hairstylist......had a little photo op with my girlfriend and her new baby...so fun...so yeah today was special too)
5. What would you like to learn to do? right now I would love to know how to sew...I'm thinking slipcovers and cushions......but really I am always wishing I knew how to do something better....
6. What’s the last thing you bought? groceries for dinner
7. What are you listening to right now? the climb by that billy guys daughter....love the song just can't remember her name....
8. What’s your favorite weather? the first days of fall....the arms and legs get to be put away for another season...thank goodness.....
9. What’s your most challenging goal right now? learning to be more patient...uggghhh
10. What do you think about the person who tagged you? love her obviously....she is like a little sister to me....
11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure? rubber candy.....jujubes, licorice whatever you've got
12. Favorite vacation spot? anywhere relaxing with T
13. What would you like to have in your hands right now? licorice.......
14. What would you like to get rid of? the sad feeling I sometimes get when I think about our future with or without children.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? hmmm I'm really happy right here thanks....
16.Which language do you want to learn? I think I would like to perfect my Spanish
17.What super power would you like to possess? super power....well I'm not sure this is a super power, but I would love to be able to take away the emotional pain that so many endure....
18. What’s your favorite thing about the city you live in? hmmm the shopping the restaurants...the fact that I can go out and not run into 15 people that I know.....in saying that there are things that I miss about small town living...
19.What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet? this great stretchy things that help hold my jeans up without a belt....oh that sounds really odd but they are great really.....if anyone has a big gap in the waist of their pants all the time..these are a lifesaver.....lol
20. What’s your dream job? for the most part I think I'm doing it?
21. If you had $150 now what would you spend it on? someone to come and help me with the gardens at the cottage....
22. Do you admire anyone’s style? oh this took me a bit....but there is this women that comes into my salon and she has the best style....just really put together, current......ahhh love it!
23.Describe your personal style?....boring....classic...I don't really know....you guys might have to help me with this one....
24. If you had to slap one person with no repercussions, who would it be and why? any person that compares themselves to me.....so so dumb...I hate that.....don't compare just do what makes you happy...we are all different......
25. What are you most proud of? ohh gosh so many things and so many people....first off my parents...for raising such lovely children...haha.....no really my parents...my family....my husband....my husbands family...myself....my staff.....lots and lots of people make me very proud.
26. If you could choose one person who has passed to have lunch with who would it be and why? My Grandfather that passed away when my Dad was young....I imagine him a certain way...and I would love to chat with him...I often think about how our family might be different if he had been around.
27. What makes you the most angry at yourself? well there are a few things...this rarely happens but when I don't exercise, that just makes a good day go downhill fast.....when I am agitated at home or at work....that's never a good scene.....most of all when I let little things people do or say to me upset me.......
28. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? haha that's easy.....my absolutely god awful...hideous stumps that some might refer to as my legs.....:)
so at the end of this you are supposed to tag 7 other blogs that you enjoy reading...well I love you all seriously everyone I read I love...sooooo... I am just going to say if you are reading this.......consider yourself TAGGED!!!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Here are some pics from the weekend.......
our first dinner at the cottage.....some greasy fries and foot longs....well that's what they had not me...lol..........my parents came to help with the big cleanup....Mom made that floor shine!!!
so we didn't have our bed set up yet.....so our first sleepover was spent on the couches....
the little bedroom.....I hope no one ever sleeps in there...I don't ever want to have to make those darn beds again.......my goodness I never knew what a challenge those were to make!!! haha
my grandfathers old trunk.......he built this trunk to bring all his belongings back to Canada after being in France where he was an Air Force Minister.....love it!!