Saturday, January 31, 2009

another one of those days........#5

Man I love Huron County.....another day another snow storm! I took this on my way home from work today....good times!

have a great weekend..
m :)

Friday, January 30, 2009

# four......and thoughts on "my world".....

my pic for today is of the fabulous Rita...she just makes me laugh!! :)


Sometimes it still amazes me how many people share their most private, intimate thoughts with me! On any given day I hear the good the bad and the life seems very, very boring in comparison to some of the stories I hear in a day....

I know that everyone thinks that the "local beauty shop" is the place to get all the town gossip...."no better place than the local beauty shop for some good ole gossip right???"...believe me I have heard that many times!
A really great moment for me happens when someone comes into the salon with a story about themselves and they just assume that I will have "already heard," and I can honestly say...."nope, no I haven't heard a thing"!
The first thing I tell anyone that works with me is, if I EVER hear you gossiping or taking part in gossiping in this salon you will be immediately terminated...basically you can do a ton of things to me but I have NO tolerance for gossip. Too many people including myself have been hurt by I will not take part, if at all possible. Now don't get me wrong here, I am not sitting here saying that I have not ever been involved with any gossip...absolutely.... WHO hasn't???? But as far as my salon is concerned I will not tolerate it....

So because of my thoughts on that whole gossip situation...(something that I have been fairly vocal about in my 16 years in the business) I do feel that my clients are fairly comfortable telling me there most private thoughts. It would be an understatement if I said I had enough data to write a few best sellers..........ahh the Hairstylist Memoirs...the good the bad and the ugly....

I feel really privileged most nights on my drive home when I compartmentalize my day... it always amazes me the stories I have heard over the course of a day.......some stories are so sad, that I tear up just thinking about the pain my client and friend is going through...or the hopeful, the happy, the is amazing the things I hear in a day! I feel a real connection with the majority of my clientele...and I feel so grateful that they feel comfortable enough to share there life stories with me!

Today, I had one of those days...most of the stories I heard have been the tough ones...the sad, the tumultuous...the pain that some people have to experience just doesn't seem fair....every story touches my heart.
I'm actually having a hard time tonight putting the stories "away"....I have always prided myself in the fact that someone can tell me something and I listen and carry it with me there entire visit, but as soon as they leave I file it away, so I am ready for the next person..... 6 weeks later when this person returns it immediately comes back to me and I am able to ask them about the particular situation...but for my mental health I have to tuck it away so I can concentrate on the next thing...some things people tell me are so intense that I wouldn't be able to function if I kept it at the forefront of my mind.......It would just be too much!!!
It is unusual for me to still be thinking about the stories....I guess what it comes down to is very clear that everyone is dealing with their own stuff....even the people that we see as having the most "awesome, privileged" lives, have troubles....tonight I am feeling very blessed to have my family healthy and close, to have the most supportive husband, the best friends....yes there are some things going on in my life right now that I could certainly do without....but really NO one knows what hand they will be dealt...and really if this is mine..........I have NOTHING to complain about!!!


Thursday, January 29, 2009


I have had a very, crazy busy week at what better place to take some pictures I thought! :) So that is what this pic is....just one of our Aveda displays at the Salon...the new Chakra bodymist' awesome....:)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

photo # 2.....

Thought I would try to capture what I am seeing outside my window this morning....January in Southern Ontario....:)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

it's time to click the dreaded "friend request"....

So we all love this darn facebook thing...and for the most part it has been a very pleasurable experience for me as well. I have made contact with so many people that I wouldn't have otherwise, my relationships with my "younger" nieces, nephews and cousins have grown much stronger because of it, etc etc...overall it has been great!!!!

Now as always, there is a flip side to everything...for the past 8 or 9 months I have been noticing a certain name from my past on my facebook homepage. I have been struggling with what to do with it!! When I see this particular name...I feel nausea overtake my body, I have not spoke of this situation to many but now I feel like I need some I know what many of you are thinking...ahh this is going to be ex, or a long lost..oh I don't know...well don't get overly excited's a girl...a girl from elementary school.....and so the story begins....

So back in the day I had a best friend....lets call her Michelle...haha that was her name actually...I would bet a ton of money that Michelle will never read this blog, let alone accept my friend request on facebook, so I feel relatively comfortable using her real name here..but if you are reading...please....please read on....:)

Michelle and I had tons of fun together, lots in common, we where inseparable for many, many years...we went through many things together...elementary school stuff...bras, periods, how to put make-up on all that fun stuff! Then high school came and we still maintained our very close friendship....all through grade 9 and then grade 10 happened....

Now I really can't pinpoint it exactly, or maybe I have just blocked it from my memory. I really don't know what happened to me in Grade 10....could it have been peer pressure...or did I really suddenly think I was "that" cool(I wasn't by the way), for some reason though as soon as we entered those big front doors at SHDHS, on our first day back in Grade 10.............I decided that I no longer wanted or needed to be friends with the other Michelle........uggghhh I can hardly write is soooo terrible, I really don't know what I could have been will go down for me as the meanest(is that even a word), most selfish, terrible thing I have ever done to another person!!!
I can even remember Michelle calling me on the phone to see what the heck my problem was and I told her that I thought we had just grown apart...yes people I can remember saying those was like a really messy break-up..........uuugggg.

I really haven't discussed this with many people, I'm sure my parents wondered hmm I wonder where Michelle is these days??? I don't really remember discussing it with them, but I am sure I just made something up to cover up how despicable I had been....I do remember feeling very guilty right away but I just didn't know how to take it back...honestly I STILL can't believe I was so terrible!

So fast forward 15 years and now you have facebook....with all its glory.....everything from your past staring you in the face........I had heard about Michelle from various people over the years.......little tidbits here and there...and then one day I saw it her name on my home page...oh she had become friends with this person and that person....and I would contemplate should I add her...and then I would say to myself....yeah right give your head a person in there right mind would accept after the way you had treated them...and I totally understand...I wouldn't either.....

In the past few days another old classmate of ours, has clearly just received a scanner for Christmas. I do believe she has scanned no less than 40 pics from our elementary school you can imagine everyone is commenting..."oh look how funny we look"..."oh my god look at Michelle's hair", etc, I have commented, and the other Michelle has commented. It just seems so funny that I can't even bring myself to ask her to be my "friend" on facebook...I am "friends" with every other person in these pictures...some of them I probably spoke no more than 50 words my whole time in elementary why can't I get over it and just ask her... Then I could at least get my apology off my it that I'm afraid of being rejected???...Even though I wouldn't blame her in the least...this shit from our younger years effects us for years to come you know....
I for one, have still not gotten over my bra being taken at a sleepover, hidden and frozen and then hung on a very cute boys coat hook in grade 6.....haha :)

I read a blog today about accepting(or not accepting) friendships from people on Facebook and it got me thinking, isn't it funny how differently we all view things....if and hopefully when I get the courage to click that "add friend button" it will be asking for forgiveness and hopefully mending some fences....healing something that has truly bothered my for actions, no one else's...I don't expect that Michelle would ever forgive me(and I don't blame her)...but just knowing that she sees, that I do realize how awful I was...I won't make any excuses..I was mean and I can't take it back...but I do want to make her aware, that I am sorry..even after all these years...
So from now on, I'm going to take a closer look at those "friend requests" on Facebook...I sure hope Michelle will when she receives mine!!


Monday, January 26, 2009

Photo A Day Challenge........

Last spring I purchased my first SLR camera.......the Nikon D40, which I think is sort the base/starter model of that type of camera. Ideally for people that want to take some good pictures but don't necessarily want to make any money at it!!! :) Doesn't it seem like everyone is a photographer these days?? Gosh some people just have such a nack for it...

So I have been playing around with my new toy and just love it, but I think I need a bit of help! I have signed up for a one day photography course in March...I am so excited... a girlfriend and I are going to take it is being held at an Inn just outside of Bayfield, a full day of learning about pics and getting to know your should be so much fun!! I can't wait!

A few of my other Blogging friends are amazing photographers and they have been involved in a challenge since the New Year..."a photo a day for 365 days challenge" I thought I would join them....just so I can see the difference in my skill level through out the year??

So I guess I will be posting at least one picture a day from now these pics are just random "whatever's" nothing too exciting really....just little day to day first of course is a self take!!! lol (hopefully the first and last)!!!

Sunday Dinner...

So we made this awesome soup last, so good. Yummy!! A girl at work made it a few weeks ago and brought it in for her lunch, just smelling it, I knew I had to make we finally got around to it last night..I would highly recommend it.
Greek Red Lentil Soup Recipe (Marion Kane)

2 tbsp olive oil
1 medium onion, peeled, chopped
8 garlic cloves, chopped
2 carrots, peeled, coarsely chopped
1 tsp coarsely ground black pepper
¼ tsp hot red pepper flakes
2 tbsp chopped fresh or 1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tbsp chopped fresh rosemary or thyme leaves, optional
2 cups red lentils, rinsed, drained
8 cups vegetable stock
3 to 4 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 cup crumbled feta cheese
Chopped fresh parsley
Heat oil in large, heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Add onion; cook, stirring, about 5 minutes or until soft. Add garlic, carrots, black pepper, hot red pepper flakes, oregano and rosemary; cook, stirring, about 2 minutes more. Add lentils and stock. Bring to boil over high heat; reduce heat to low and simmer, partially, covered, until lentils are soft and falling apart, about 15 to 20 minutes.
Add lemon juice, salt and pepper. Serve hot soup in shallow bowls sprinkled with feta and chopped parsley.
Makes about 6 servings.
It is really quick and easy...I doubled the amount of red pepper flakes but we LOVE spicy...and the feta is really the finishing touch! I didn't bother with the parsley just tossed on a bit more rosemary, more for presentation that anything I think.....haha but that is what, it is all about for me!! :)
Great for a cold winter night...

Sunday, January 25, 2009

....a quote...

"The process of adopting a child pushes your personal envelope as a woman, as a mother, and ultimately, as a human being. It takes more courage than you think you have, offers more self-knowledge than you think you want, and resembles your characteristics into someone familiar but changed.
a quote that spoke to me today...thanks Rebekah....:)

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Plan A or B.......

We are having a very emotional night here at 340 Ambleside...why is it that sometimes you feel great, it is like you have forgotten all the crappy stuff going on in your life. Things like Blackberry's, a really busy day at your business or just making someones day is all you need to feel really really good and happy.....and then it hits you....kind of like a storm starts really slow, it is a combination of things....just a few little details in a consecutive order and then disaster hits....
It is Sat night after a couple glasses of wine, not enough sleep, a few hours of chatting and here we are right back to the place we don't want to be....discussing the future...the future that is so unsure, unsettled and obviously driving us both a little mad!

Now I do know that every single person reading this..has NO idea what their future holds....but once again this blog is about me and my life so it is my time to this is your chance to STOP reading....this may be a bit of a pity be forewarned........:)

Both Terry and I had different "moments" just never know why or when they are going to hit could be a song, or reading a certain blog or a snippet of a discussion one of us had with just never know what is going to trigger an emotional thing we do know for sure is that the way life is now, is not the way we want it to be for the rest of our lives....yes we do have a wonderful life. We have each other which is an amazing gift...we have great jobs a beautiful home, the most supportive family and friends....I know, what are we complaining about right??

Well we are not complaining, we do realize this is our story, our journey...this part is just really, really hard........I guess we did not ever anticipate how hard it was going to be!

Something that we discussed at length tonight was, okay if this doesn't work out the way we want it too...well, what's next??? We know that we don't want life to continue the way it is...working and our businesses can't be our only focus for the rest or our lives? So we discussed...what is Plan B then...we have to be realistic......that may be our reality.....

I am a planner...that is just the way I am, so this has been VERY challenging for of course when Terry asked the question what are we going to do if this doesn't work out the way we want it, my first reaction is okay lets just plan(I will get a pen, paper and we can get a list together, have I ever mentioned I love lists)....Plan B.........hmm okay well when exactly is Plan B going to take affect? Well that is a tough one seeing that the thought 0f having Plan B take effect means that Plan A, the original plan the plan we really really hope for didn't happen.....
hmm not getting very far with my list........

So we sat and looked at each other.....I put my pen and paper down and and we comforted each other in silence....we need to just relax and let this happen the way it is supposed doesn't matter how many Plan A or B's we have........things will work out in due time. We will look back on all these half written lists and laugh.......or we will actually be living in a Villa in Tuscany....running a bed and breakfast....:)


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mr Rogers...

Could it be, that for once in my life.... my patience has been worth it??? Now I know that this story is going to sound very VERY trivial in the grand scheme of my life and everyone else's for that forgive me, but honestly I am trying to get joy and excitement in the little things right now people, cut me some slack here!! :)

So here is the story....for about 8 or 9 months now I have been looking into getting a blackberry...or some device that I can download my work schedule on to, so I will have it with me at all times....this would come in very handy! For example when I am booking my next Dr's appt, bank or accountant meetings or lunch with my Mom, whatever...My days are not all created equal...that is what being self employed is all about. You work until fit people in, that is what I do. So on any given day I may indeed be working....and there is no rhyme or reason to when they begin or end....I may start at 8 or one day it may just be 9:45 you just never know...or it may be until 7pm or maybe 8:45 it is all it can pose a few little issues when I am trying to plan the rest of my life....hmm that is a whole other story, is there life other than work...I will save that for another blog....:)

So to make a VERY long and frustrating story short.........I(we) have been fighting with Rogers for months about my damn cellular device...turns out I had too much time left in my contract and because I was an existing customer of theirs a blackberry was going to be about 600 dollars...just to do a simple keep in mind if I was a BRAND NEW customer I could have a blackberry for 49 dollars........... did you get that scenario....existing versus new...what the heck???? I(Terry) has spent hours on the phone with these people, this just doesn't make sense........we are going to cancel everything we have with your company...etc etc...

For some reason I had a major stubborn on about this.....most times in my life I would just pay the damn 300 dollar penalty and get out of my contract with them and just go somewhere else and get what I least then I would only have to give them about 300 dollars....but to me this was a crock!!....Why should a loyal customer not be treated better than a new customer walking in the door? At least the same, everyone should be treated the same shouldn't they??? ahhh this has been very disturbing to me, honestly...I have talked about this at length many times, with many different people....and I would get so is just making me crazy thinking about it (not to mention how tired Terry is after listening to me scream about it for months)!!

So I walk in the house tonight and there is this letter sitting on the table...hmm what is this...hmm something from Rogers, and this something looks very professional...not just another coupon book here... Well it was a letter from, umm lets call him MR ROGER'S...haha telling me(Terry) that we are really good customers, that they don't want to lose our business, so if we are still interested in a new cellular device, to go to the nearest Rogers store. He had picked out blackberry devices that he thought would suit our needs, two models that we could have for 0$ or we could have the brand new Blackberry Bold for only 99$.........
ahhhh I am so excited....this is great...because honestly I was going to play this one out(really I was), I was going to wait until August when my contract was up and I was going to walk into that darn Rogers store and throw my damn cell phone at them....hmmppph....and mosey on down to the nearest Bell Mobility and give them my business....oh those poor people at Bell they just won't know what they are missing!!!! haha

So I really can't believe that my patience has finally for once paid off.........:) Call me, text me, email me...I all yours people.. now you can get me anytime ....hmm is that good or bad!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

16 things about me...right now!

Okay so who knew you could be tagged in blog land...but apparently you can, so here goes. I was tagged to write 16 things about myself that people may or may not know about me.....
So here it goes!

1. I love hot, spicy food.....and when I say that I mean my food has to be hot like if soup is supposed to be served hot then the temperature must almost burn my tongue, and spicy I just love red hot pepper flakes, curry paste anything HOT...

2. I totally think I am a rock soon as Terry leaves the house, I blast my music and sing and dance into total oblivion....(I bet you are getting a really nice visual here)

3. I love "rubber candy" this includes licorice, gummies, sour keys...etc anything made out of the most artificial ingredients works great for me!!

4. I'm 34 years old and I still miss my parents when they go right now(get home already people!!!!)

5. I am usually right now I am nervous that my first client isn't going to like her hair...what the heck I have been doing it for years or when I have to make small talk at a party or something....yep there are butterflies in my stomach most of the time....

6. I am SO scared of is embarrassing!

7. I love, love, love my husband, he is my best friend, I just couldn't imagine life without him...if I am having a bad day, I just imagine talking to him and everything becomes alright again!!

8. I have a very small group of core people in my life that I would tell most things too...they are the best.

9. I love to be by myself...I love my own space!(thanks Dad for passing that on)!!

10. I am absolutely committed to exercising 6 days a week!

11. I go through phases, right now I am soooo into board games..yes old fashioned, like you used to play when you were a kid board games, but this will pass they always do...for instance I am pretty sure my wanting a HARLEY was a phase...although I do still think I look pretty good in black leather...ahhh love those chaps!!...

12. I hate everything from my hips legs, my veins, my feet, my toes....YUCK!

13. My family is very important to me...immediate and extended...when they hurt I hurt!

14. I am proud of myself! I do think I have overcome some obstacles in my life, I have held my head up high and kept going even when I just wanted to crawl into a hole for about 10 years!

15. I love red wine...I love having a glass every night to calm my nerves....(my nerves please refer to #5)

16. My favourite movie is oh geez it is a tie.... The Sound of Music and Sixteen Candles....

okay everyone, if you are a blogger and have read this post consider yourself TAGGED....

baby ward.....?!?!

I have to start this post by saying, that yesterday I went somewhere, and I truly wasn't sure how I was going to handle it.....I had actually at one point thought about "calling in sick", but realized I could never do that to my good friend. So I took some deep breaths and went for it. I also must point out that what I am about to write is how I was feeling, it had nothing to do with other people, it had nothing to do with feeling jealous or annoyed or angry with others it was all about the feelings that were happening inside of me!

Yesterday I spent the morning with my good friend Dee and her newborn twins. I will honestly say that I was worried about going to Sick Kids Hospital and being surrounded by all these babies. i figured oh boy this is gonna be a healthy situation now isn't' it!!! I wanted to see Dee so bad, and of course her babies, I just didn't know who I would feel once I was there.

Well I went and had an absolute great good to chat and spend time with Dee. The babies are just adorable, getting stronger and bigger everyday. I was even able to hold them while Dee was feeding the other. All of it was a great experience.

What I found disturbing about the whole visit was watching some of the other people in there with their imagine a small room filled with cribs, I would say there was five of them in the five babies equals possibly 10 parents...yikes a lot of people...and Dee was the only one in there that looked "normal" or old enough to have a baby.... AHHH one couple I swear didn't look a day over I guess one good thing was that they were there as a couple. They were being discharged when I was there. I could even sense that the nurses were wondering how they were going to do it by themselves...There were some other "subject" people around yes I did find that very frustrating..but I guess I got to see it first hand....instead of just believing everything our SW tells us....yep young people are keeping there babies right now..that is just the way it is.

When Dee and I were walking back out to the elevator...I made a joke(anyone reading this please note that I am being very sarcastic here) "this would be a great place to steal a baby now wouldn't it" Dee laughed and replied..."well Mich, just in case you ever get the urge ...all the babies have security tags on there little even if you did make it to the elevator the whole hospital would go into lockdown".....hahaha...."yeah well I guess I will just go home then...I don't really have time for that today now do I"....:)

So I am really glad I went and it was okay! I think I have been putting so much pressure on myself with this whole situation....a lot due to the fact that 2 of my really good friends are having babies this year....and I just don't want them to ever feel uncomfortable around me....yes this is I look at them and sometimes feel a bit sad...I sure do. I wish we could be going shopping for maternity clothes together or picking out stuff for our nurseries together...or just be able to talk about the whole thing...and actually talk not just listen because.....well I don't know what it feels like so it is hard to relate.....but I know in due time I will be able to share the most important things about having children with them!

I am so glad that yesterday was a good experience, now I can stop worrying and just let this year happen...the year of the babies....for us too I hope!! :)

happy Wed.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

my political obsession....

I can't really put my finger on what it is about them, but I just can't seem to get enough of American Politics...I have some weird fascination with it??? It doesn't make any sense, I don't really pay much attention to our own politicians...but man oh man I was just glued to the TV today for the inauguration.....

It started way back for me...remember the first time George Bush won....well I think I had a secret crush on AL.....Al Gore that is...I stayed up that night while they were counting and recounting all the votes down in Florida until about 4am...I just couldn't stop I felt so bad for Al and Tipper...(I think that is her name)...I couldn't take my eyes of the screen...and then the next day the same, until my (good friend by that time), AL finally conceded and good old George won the race.......

Now don't be confused I don't know a thing about politics, and quite I'm fine with that...I just love the drama...the Hollywood flair all the politicians have in the intrigues me!! I love to see all the secret service men and women scanning the crowds for immediate threats, I want to know what Michelle is wearing today, how her hair is, how she walks and smiles and where her children are...or the new vice presidents that is some blonde hair...I just find it so fascinating!!! I guess it is just such a totally different world for me, we just don't do this in Canada....I am ashamed to say it, but right at this moment I can't even tell you what Stephen Harper's wife looks like........ahh that is AWFUL.....

Now all joking aside, I too felt my eyes a bit watery when I say Mr Obama and his wife step out of the limo to walk a stretch down Pennsylvania Avenue so that the "normal" people in the bleachers could get a glimpse of them, the people who maybe hadn't given huge amounts of money to his party. The people that had stood out there in the freezing temperature just on the off chance that they might get out of the these people are PUMPED!....The American people are counting on him for so much, they are ready for change, they need change....We all are, I guess in some ways counting on this new government to make a was an amazing day for the American the first African American president...I'm sure many people never thought they would see the day. Faith will have been restored for many, today will go down in history!....

I'm glad I could witness history being made....
Happy Tuesday everyone

Sunday, January 18, 2009

let's all be daymakers.....

I am sure you are wondering what this "daymaker" thing is all about. A few years ago I was lucky enough to attend an Aveda conference and heard a hairstylist speak by the name of David Wagner. He was a dynamic speaker and also a very talented, respected stylist..I was so excited to be able to hear him and feed off his knowledge.

Much to my surprise he was there to give us a motivational "talk". Well I was less than impressed..... until he started to speak. He changed most of my thoughts that day, he made me realize that I personally have many chances everyday to change peoples make their day better...not just make them look better, but to actually make them feel better. Possibly change the course of their life, just by listening and supporting them.

Since then I have tried to live all my days as a daymaker! I always try to remember....its all the little things we do that can make someone's day!!!

A few Christmas's ago I gave each of my staff members a copy of David's book, and I continue to keep a copy of the book in the salon, so people can read it when they are waiting. It amazes me how we all forget how important a smile or even just listening to each other can help everyone so much.
There is a particular story in David's book, that touched me so deeply. I think of it often. This story is about David and one of his regular clients. This women like many of us had a regular appointment every 6 weeks for a cut and colour. For some reason though, she called one day out of the blue for a simple shampoo & blow dry....of course David fit her in. He wondered why, but just thought well she must have a special function to go to today.

The women came to the salon and they had a great time. David gave her a wonderful scalp massage and they talked and laughed. She left looking great and David didn't think another thing of it....until he received a letter in the mail about 3 days later.
The letter was something that stopped him in his tracks and changed the way he and so many people that have heard this story conduct there lives....the letter started with a simple Thank-You, she needed to thank him. She had come in that day, so her hair would look perfect when she was found. She had planned on committing suicide that afternoon. She just couldn't take it anymore, too many terrible things were happening in her life and she just couldn't cope any longer. But he had made her feel so good about her self that afternoon in a simple 30min. visit that instead of going home and doing what she had planned she decided to go directly to the hospital for some help.....he had saved her and she was thanking him.....

That was the moment that changed his life....from that moment on he realized that in his career and his life he had the ability to change lives...and he wanted to spread the word to people in our industry, that they too could do the same. If we could think of ourselves as "daymakers" instead of just hairdressers, the world would start changing....

I think of his words everyday and remember that you never know what people are going through...even though things may seem tough they can always be more challenging for others...and if I can help one person, just by listening and and making them feel better about themselves...everything I do everyday would be worth it.
This is a letter that David Wagner wrote for us at the particular conference, I keep it with me always......enjoy...

Hello.... Let me introduce myself. My name is David Wagner and I am a Daymaker. It is what I am, what I do, and it has been a blessing for the nearly 20 years that I have adopted this mindset and way of being. It has allowed me much success in my life. Ah' what is success? I started being a Daymaker hairstylist and as a result was able to change my clients' lives so much that it gave me confidence in choosing to be a Daymaker in the other roles I play. I became a Daymaker boss and my business flourished. I got married and became a Daymaker husband. I had two daughters and became a Daymaker dad. Every facet of my life has benefited by my choosing to be a Daymaker.As a Daymaker, all of a sudden everything you do, whether it's letting someone merge into traffic or simply offering the waitress a friendly smile of appreciation for serving you, creates what I call "perfect moments." After all, days are made of moments and it's how we choose to be in those moments that shape our day and, in fact, our lives.I often say that I used to have two theories on raising children. Now I have two children and I don't have theories anymore.
What you won't find in my book are theories on how to change your life or how you can impact the world around you. What you will find are stories from my life and my experiences that have shaped mine and helped me to see and realize that yes, as one person I can change the world. I've changed mine and it's beautiful.
Please join me in changing the world in a beautiful way. When my world meets your world we have created a ripple of hope, love, and abundance of life together. What if you could change the world by making someone's day? Thousands of people have already experienced the wisdom of "Daymaking." It's a movement we can all engage in. There's nothing to join, just an attitude to adopt. The ripple effect it creates has the power to change the world. The effects of Daymaking can be profound, offering you a way to significantly impact your community. It creates a tipping point in which the pendulum is biased in the direction of kindness,care, love and joy. Just notice the people you encounter each day and provide a small gesture to make their day. Give them the quality of attention that makes them feel important, smart, beautiful, or unique. It's nearly impossible to focus on your own problems when you're living life as a Daymaker.
just thought I would share,

taxi please.......

We had a great night last night, we went out to the Food and Wine show with my brother and his girlfriend and also a couple that we know through Terry's PAG group. We all had a great time. The show was really good, lots of great wines to try and tons of good food. I didn't get into much of the food but I did try some thai jerky which was a bit bizarre..but whatever, I guess they want jerky in Thailand most important stop of the evening was of course refilling my honey stock...haha they always have this awesome booth there that sells all different kinds of I would never put honey on toast...get real, I don't even eat bread let alone put honey on it...but this honey, I could sit with a bag of pretzels and the jar of honey and be set for days........mmmm so good...we got our standard fav raspberry-jalapeno.....ahh can't wait to have company so I can have an excuse to hall it out!!! lol
So the most disturbing part of the evening was trying to hail a cab at the end of the night........ahh so FRUSTRATING.....there were absolutely no cabs at the fair I don't know if any of you ventured out last night but it was COLD...damn cold to be exact, and wet and snowy and just not weather I really wanted to be in, standing on the side of the road in a snow bank waving my hand frantically at cabs that might have come by every 4 minutes.
Not to mention standing there competing with about 50 other people trying to do the same thing, if one more little blonde girl ran out in front of us to try to steal the next "unavailable" cab I was going to my brother finally tracked one down....and we all piled that moment we all look at each other and say, "so what now"...should we just go home and not chance this same experience again downtown...trying to get a cab.......ahhh no lets go to the Tasting Room for a drink and a bit more we needed it........
So away we go, had a few appetizers and another glass of wine! Then it was time to leave.......oh shit I thought I have finally defrosted and here we go again.....same thing...just different scenery, which was funny in itself watching all the young girls in there short skirts, bare legs and heels maneuvering around the snow packed sidewalks....too funny....

Other than the cab diabolically..the night was so much fun....

Today we are heading to Terry's parents for a b-day dinner. I quickly made a card for Terry's Dad and I have got to get my act together on this growth chart for Dee....I took a few pics to post of it so far...I figure if I put them up I will feel the pressure of getting it finished...I get to see the new babies on Tues so I want to have it finished by then!!
happy Sunday everyone.

Friday, January 16, 2009

baby, it's cold outside!

My goodness what the heck it is SO cold outside. It is so cold that my eyelashes freeze when I'm cleaning off my car, it is so cold that it takes my clients with glasses about 10 mins before they "defog" and we can actually discuss a new is so cold that Terry actually keeps the heat ON when we go to bed at night....what the heck when is this going to go away???

It is days like this that I think maybe we are crazy for making the choice we have made about not heading to the sunny south this year. For the last few years we have been joining my parents in St Maarten for a week...ahhhh the memories, the sun, the sand, the great restaurants, and of course the thrist quenching carib after you come in from a day at the beach....oh yeah and of course the company!! lol

This year Terry and I made a decision not to travel due to the economy. As some of you know Terry and his family are in the automotive business, so it is the same story as everyone else...times are tough...

Terry has struggled with some of the decisions he has had to make in the past few months, one of them being laying off employees...I can only imagine how awful it is to be the person that is laid-off, I feel so fortunate that I have a job to go to everyday. But going through this process with Terry I have seen the other side, witnessed how hard it is to be the person that has to do the laying off...honestly not a nice time at all. When you have people and families counting on you, it is so difficult to have to do that to them!

So for us we just could not justify going away this year, when other families are suffering due to a difficult decision we had to make. I just couldn't imagine Terry or myself going into work chatting away about our annual trip to paradise, when others where worrying if they would have a job to go to in a few months or not!
So I am not faltering or questioning our decision about a vacation this year......but man it is COLD outside....hmmm maybe I need to start embracing this winter weather a bit more..find some fun things to do outside....we will see...
Quite frankly I think I will just sit by the fire with a nice glass of wine.......for now this is how I am going to embrace our wintry weather....

have a great weekend!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

So it has been a fairly busy week in the shop this week, thank goodness. I have let each of the girls have an extra day off so that has helped....when there are not so many bodies around it at least makes it seem busier!

We have some fun new things that are going to happen at the shop in the next couple of weeks, we are starting to give complimentary hand massages to all our chemical clients. So when you are sitting waiting for your colour to process you will get a nice treat while you wait!

We are also trying to come up with some fun ideas to do a contest via our facebook site for a little New Year New Look idea is, for anyone that would like to have a brand new dramatic change for the New Year to come into the shop and enter our contest..we would take before and after pics and post them on our facebook group...people would then vote on what makeover they think is the best....the winner will receive complimentary hair cuts for 6 months??? What do you think???? Do you think anyone would be interested??

We have a pretty fun weekend planned, I am heading out for dinner with Robin and Lisa tomorrow night, they are going to be in Exciter so we are going to head to Eddingtons...can't wait, love those girls.....
Sat night, Terry and I are going to the Food and Wine Show with a couple from Terry's PAG group and my brother and his girlfriend! We have gone to the show for the last couple years and just love it.
Sunday should be just a nice relaxing day, I think I will make a really nice dinner, some homemade soup and I'm just not sure what else yet...
Monday I am heading into Toronto to do a bit of shopping and then....drum roll please.... I have Tuesday off ......ahh a mental day I guess, I actually don't know why I originally booked this day off, I kind of think that Terry and I were going to go away for a couple of days but then decided against it..and I guess I "forgot" to book myself into work again. So when I came across it a couple weeks ago, I just decided that I would take it off anyway!
I am so glad, I am going to spend the day doing some odd jobs that I have meaning to get caught up with and the most exciting part of the day will be going to see my old roommate and her babies...yep that's right babies...she had twins on the 27th of Dec and they are still at Sick Kids, so I am going to pop out there for a visit...I can't wait to see them all!
Oh that totally reminds me, I am making a growth chart for her as part of the baby I think I know what I will be doing on Sunday...finishing it...

Well that's about it for tonight,
happy birthday Jill!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

straight jacket may be required.....

You know that sick feeling you can get in the pit of your stomach, when someone tells you something...that is shocking or you just weren't expecting it or you knew it was possible but hoped you would never have to hear about it. Well that something happened to me today.

As I have written before there are 8 or more couples in our area waiting to adopt domestically. Now I know to some of you that probably doesn't seem like a big number, but let me give you some stats here....5 years ago there were 318 private adoptions done, last year only you can see this does not happen that often. So to have that many couples waiting in our little city is a big deal.

We are aware that there has been one successful adoption done since our homestudy process has been complete. Our Social Worker confirmed that for me last week! So that I have dealt with, yes we have been presented and no we were not chosen, hard to take yes...but we were given some information about the case and it makes perfect sense why the birth mother chose the particular couple that she did. That is a good thing....we don't want to get involved in something that isn't going to be a comfortable situation for all parties involved.

Today I had a meeting with a colleague of mine, who just happens to be waiting, just like us. Now she just seems to be such a wealth of knowledge when it comes to this adoption(note my sarcasm here), and she just loves sharing all her thoughts with me!!!! What she and her husband are doing, and what she thinks my husband and I should be doing!!
We are VERY different people...thank goodness....I personally think she is crazy....she is handling this whole thing much differently than I am, but I try to sit and listen to everything she has to say. While I keep glancing at my watch thinking my oh my...we are supposed to be getting some shit done here lady, you have me for an hour you might want to discuss some hair pomade or shine serum real shortly here, or this is a real waste of time....
But NO she continues and then she drops a BOMB..."so we were presented and chosen on New Years Eve", WHAT I honestly almost spit my wonderful Coffee Culture creation all over this women's beautiful crisp white linen I quickly went into work mode, and gave me best sickeningly sweet smile and said "oh wow that is great... so what is going on"???? and she then continues with the rest of the story, "well can you imagine this, we had 12 people over for dinner on New Years Eve and my husband opened his email and read an email from our Social Worker saying we had been chosen that day but unfortunately the birth mother had decided to keep the baby???

So my initial reaction was "oh my gosh" that is crazy why would they ever tell you this information, why did you need to know this. Could it not have waited for a few days....why would they tell you this on New Years Eve..this just doesn't make sense!?! To be quite honest with you all, I can't really remember what she said next........

After that I really am not sure how I got through the rest of our meeting, the last thing I remember her saying to me is..."well Michelle I guess if you don't have your Social Worker tell you when you are were most likely presented to the birth mother that choose us"...hmm well I'm not exactly why she bothered saying that to me when she could have saved herself some breath and just punched me in the gut instead..because that is how that entire hour with her felt....EXHAUSTING.........

Well you can just imagine how the rest of my day went...I immediately emailed Terry and then called him to discuss the situation...he listened and tried to calm me down...haha nice then I tried my Mom on for size...yep she did the same...guess what, didn't really even had my Dad in for a trim...yep you guessed it....I don't think anything or anyone could get me calmed down today....

So by the time I drove home in a freaking blizzard, I felt a bit better! I have repeated the whole "this will happen when it is supposed too" quote about "a million times" (yes Terry a million)!! lol
To tell you the truth, I really wasn't sure what my husband would have ready for me when I arrived home tonight...either a big glass of red wine, or a big white straight jacket (wouldn't blame him really)!!! :)

this too shall pass.....

Monday, January 12, 2009

a realization....

So this blog was something I started doing because, as I have said before, I needed a place where I could journal about this time in my life. I am a person that can easily write down what I am feeling, things just seem to flow when I am writing, but to actually verbalize things, well that's a different story. I tend to keeps things locked away deep inside, so I don't have to burden anyone with what is going on with me...I am the one that helps people, that is part of my job, (ahhh and you guys thought I was just here to make you look good)!! lol
I would say it is 50/50 making you look absolutely stunning but the other part of my job is to listen, to comfort, to be excited or sad, or to try to help you understand...this is what I somewhere in all of that I just figured, well no one wants to hear about my stuff too.
The problem with that was.....major life events would happen and the most important people in my life would have NO idea what the hell just went on!!!!!

So I started to blog.....yes you ask why not keep a journal..something more private??? Well that defeated MY purpose..I needed the people closest to me to know what was going on....again many things that I write about I would never tell them in person. An example....a blog I wrote about a week ago...regarding the possibility of our profile being presented...I talked to my Mom twice before I wrote or she read that post and I never mentioned it to her??? I don't know why, I just wasn't ready, or I just needed her to read it....not hear it??? I really can't explain was just easier for me that way. She read it and then we discussed it and that worked for me.

This blog is really only about 2 months old and already some really amazing things have come from it....I have formed a really great friendship with someone, and that honestly was not something I thought would ever happen. My family has been able to support me when most likely I would never have let them...I have been able to express my feelings to people that I would not do otherwise, I received an email from someone today that was so amazing to me and it all stemmed from this blog.

But I have to say I do still find it a bit scary or weird that people are interested in what I have to say, I see my traffic feed and the total "hits" number at the bottom of my blog everyday and it tells me that many are reading....and that is when I second guess myself...should I be writing this, should I be putting myself out there like this....??? I just don't know?

Our lives are so much different now with all this social networking that we are all doing, a blog my cousin wrote a few days ago discusses this at length....and I have to wonder is it good? I have to admit that I love some good old "facebooking". For me that network has been an amazing thing, it has made my relationships with all my cousins, nieces and nephews closer...I have been in contact with old friends that I wouldn't have otherwise, it has been an amazing tool for my for me yes, it has been a wonderful asset. Has it for everyone though? I bet not, I'm sure it has hurt some people very deeply.

That is what I am questioning about this blog....I love all the good things that have already in a short time come from it. I do worry though, that human nature is going to take over and some that are reading my personal thoughts are going to run with them....I am really trying to remember my "rule" that I spoke about a few days ago..that it is none of my business what others think....and I am going to go with that...but please if you are reading this...feel free to continue...but remember this is my life...these are the things going on in my world, these are my thoughts, no one else's... So read it, enjoy it, laugh with me, cry with me and take what you want from it...but truly, I don't want anyone hurt from this blog...most of all myself!

have a great night everyone!

Chili anyone???

What a great weekend. Very relaxing and restful.

My cousin came over yesterday and spent the afternoon with us, so much fun!! We hadn't spent much time with her lately so it was so great to catch up.

It is funny really, I was 12 when she was born, so yep you guessed it..... my first babysitting gig....and I'm not sure if any of you are aware but babysitting wasn't really my idea of a good time. I did it because, well that was the only way to get a little extra cash when you are 12 and let me tell you, already at that ripe old age of 12 I needed a lot of items from our local cosmetic counter....I had already started the make-up, hair thing by then... so I needed the funds to support the habit!

I am fairly positive that I drove my Aunt totally crazy that first year of her being a mother, and me being a sitter....I would call her no less that 5 times each day,asking things like why is she crying, when should I feed her etc etc. I just didn't know what to do with this thing???....It just didn't come natural to me.

Well we finally got over the baby stage, after that she would often spend time at my parents house when her parents would go away...I will never forget her sitting in the bathroom watching me put ALL my makeup on, this little 4 or 5 year old watching my every move...later as she got older, high school years she would stay at my house for a few days at a time...boyfriends would come and go, curfews would be discussed and on one particular stay she was doing a parenting class...yep that's right the crying doll did a stint at my house....ahh I guess all of this was preparing me for something!!! She made a comment yesterday that she had more rules when she would stay at my house than she had anywhere else....hmmm interesting...:)

It is hard to believe that all these years have passed and we have now reached a time in our lives that we can be just friends...its great!

So the three of us chatted, played a few games, did a lot of facebook creeping and dined on Terry's famous chili and some red wine.....great way to spend a Sunday!!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

ChaLEAN Extreme

So I'm super excited to start my new training regime....I ordered it about a week ago and I am patiently waiting for it to arrive! I have been doing Turbo Jam videos by Chalene for quite a few years now. I started out with Beachbody Videos probably 8 or 9 years ago and absolutely love all there stuff! I have done Debbie Siebers stuff...Tony Horton Power90, Yoga Booty Ballet, and have a few others...but my all time fav, the one I always go back to is Turbo Jam...I just love it.
I will admit the first time I got it I tried it and put it away for about a was just too complicated, I didn't feel like I had got any cardio in, the steps were just too "dancy" and confusing...I hauled it out about a month later and just started doing it for fun and have loved it ever since...4 years when I heard that Chalene was coming out with a new workout..that was more focused on strength and was a true 90 day get you ass whipped back into shape program...I was all over it!

I just can't wait to get started...I had a client in the other day that has started it and just loves it...but said be prepared this is know that kind of nausea's feeling you get when you know you have had a really really great workout..this is it!! Can't wait!!!!


Saturday, January 10, 2009

ahh the WEEKEND is here...

ahhh, what a long week! I do love getting back into routine after the holidays but this week seemed to go on forever. I had a super busy week at work as usual but the salon in general seemed so much quieter than it was in December. The girls had a few fairly busy days but they also had a few down right awful, boring you know them.... days that seem to go on forever!!!
I just hate it when it is like this, for some reason I always feel like it is my fault that they are sitting around doing nothing..and now that there are more people around it just means more bored ladies in my company! :)
This is January this is just how it doesn't matter if you are in Exeter or downtown Manhatten it is the slowest month of our year....and to make it worse it follows right behind the busiest month of our it just seems that much worse! Every year the same thing happens in December, I hand out these enormous paychecks...everyone is all smiles all the time they just can't get enough...and then Jan 1 hits and they get the smallest check of their year....I always tell them we have to budget..(ahh my Dads favorite word) you have to be prepared, next month will not be like this. They smile and say we know Michelle.....mmmhum I doubt they even hear one word I say....because here we are the 10th day in January and everyone is so aggitated because they "need" to make more money.....they are irritated...and I calmly say it is Jan guys, this is what happens!!!! :)
So we will get through it we always do....we need a really nice mild spell and that always brings the people back. They feel like spring has sprung and need a new do.....ahhh can't wait.....and I'm positive 4 stylists in Exciter can't wait either....

We are having a nice relaxing night at home...Terry made a nice dinner for us and right at the moment we are trying to get a new wireless router set up.....haha you can see I am really participating in Terry you are doing a great job!!
My cousin is coming over tomorrow for some Wii fit, some chili making and who knows what else...
A nice weekend at home...

have a great night everyone...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

success principles.....

I have been reading this really awesome book this last week or so...called The Success Principles....thanks to my Aunt Carol who told me about it! I am really loving it, it is an amazing read for anyone with goals that they would like to achieve..whether it may be personal, business, your future or your right now. The author of the book is one of the many individuals responsible for the Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
On New Years Day I woke up really early and read it for about 5 hours was just so motivating I couldn't put it down. I would point out particular paragraphs for Terry to read and then I would continue with my pencil....underlining sentences and quotes that really spoke to me.

There have been so many different things that have hit me in this of them being the 18/40/60 rule...
when you are 18, you worry about what everybody is thinking of you
when you are 40, you don't give a darn what anybody thinks of you
when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all
what others think about you is none of your business....

Now I wish I could say that I know this already and I never worry about what others are thinking, but as most of you realize I would be sooooo lying to you right ahhh I wonder if people ever really truly feel like this...they truly get to the point where they just don't care????
I can remember my Mom saying to me a few summers ago....we were chatting at the cottage and I imagine we were lying out in the sun together, I probably made some really insecure comment about my legs or body in Mom said "Michelle stop being so hard on yourself"..and then she stopped and said "I know how you feel I used to be like that....that is what is soooo great about being in my 50's it just doesn't matter to me anymore what people think of me in a bathing suit...if you don't like it don't long as I am healthy I am not going to worry about not looking like women in the magazines at this point in my life"....
I have thought of this conversation soooo many times since then....oh I can't wait to get there..when I really don't care what others think of me...

I worry way too much about what others think, I sometimes make myself almost sick over what others are thinking or saying....
I do know logically that the only people I should worry about are the people that are the nearest and dearest to me...making sure I am doing my best and putting my all into those relationships, not spending so much energy on what others think about such trivial what my legs look like in a bathing suit, if they liked there hair after they left my shop and what they might say to everyone else...etc, etc.....

I know I have some work to do to get there....but this is going to be one of my goals this stop worrying so much about what others may be thinking about me...because quite frankly it is none of my business......

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Bright Lights....Big........legs?!?!?!?

Wow I can't believe it, I had my first vein injection today. Boy I was totally sweating this visit, but it was a so easy. My appt was for 3:10 and I was driving away at 3:47. Honestly the worst part of the whole thing was getting these damn compression stockings that is where the story

Okay so here I am lying on the bed with my legs wide out there for the whole world to see....yes I am very uncomfortable at this point, I am so sorry Dr Tripp(who was absolutely amazing by the way) that you had to endure the sight of my legs under those bright lights for 26 mins...truly I apologize, because honestly just 4 seconds in the mirror is enough for me..and never would I subject myself to looking at them for any length of time with bright lights shining down on

Anyways back to the all of sudden a nurse comes in to "teach" me how to put the stockings on..........what???? a lesson..."first off you need RUBBER GLOVES"....okay this is going to be fun every morning for the next 2 I got all my instructions and thought okay you all can leave now...I will put them on...........NOPE they help you your first time....oh great now I have to get off the bed and stand up in these bright lights with my legs out for the whole world to see(and as Terry's Grandma Kay once told me, "your legs always look best when you are lying down") that is what happened the nurse and the DR showed my literally how to put my new stockings on....needless to say I really got to know these 2 women well in a very short time!!!
I just can't believe how many growing experiences I am having I can add this to the list...bringing the legs out in public...I don't think these things have seen any type of bright lights since I left my mothers womb....:) haha
(I know, I know, everyone is thinking stop exaggerating Michelle your legs can't be that bad...well I really think they are, and don't worry yourselves too much about it because you will never see them to

All and all I really can't believe how easy the whole process was....I will now go back in a month and they will look at how everything worked, probably do one more small injection and that should be good......until the next one appears...which considering my Mom's history, and my job, probably isn't too far behind!!! :)

Hope everyone has had a fabulous Tuesday!

Monday, January 5, 2009

The Great Debate.....

Tomorrow I have my first appt. to get my disgusting varicose veins treated. I am kind of nervous about it, but all the literature I read assures me that it is not painful. You can drive yourself home after and work the next day, actually as soon as you get home you have to walk for a half hour. For two weeks after that you must walk/jog/cross train for at least an hour a day! So great for me seeing that that is normal, and if I had to miss it..oh I would be irritated..especially after indulging in chocolate and junk over the holidays. I don't want to missing any workouts right now!!! :)

So after many years of boycotting I had decided that I would finally go and get some pants at LULU...for years I have been saying I just couldn't justify paying so much for comfy girlfriends would laugh saying "oh come on Michelle you spend $$ on tons of crazy stupid stuff, stop being so righteous and buy the damn pants you will love them" another would say "oh they fit sooooo good you will never turn back after you try them" or the ever so popular " they stay so nice...I have had mine for years and they don't go bally in the wash they look like they are brand new still"!!! :)
I had finally given in, succumbed to the peer I facebooked my cousin who I thought would be so excited that finally her old cousin was going to get with the picture, join the rest of the world and get a pair of LULU's.....well much to my surprise there was no excitement in her voice..there was actually panic...she actually called me(which doesn't happen that often, our relationship relies strictly on our computers and quite frankly we both like it that way) so you can imagine my shock when I saw her number on my call display!
DON'T do it Michelle....La Senza Spirit is the new LULU....WHAT...I don't even know what this place is...she said okay you know how my LULU's have gotten a bit bally after washing them so much(WHAT I thought that was the whole point of these damn pants) well these ones don't, they are cheaper, and the funniest of all was and "Michelle they are much better for our thick legs"!!!!!
That a girl, you know what to say.....whatever is going to be better for my bottom half I am all I will make the trek out to White Oaks...aghhh I hate going out there but I will do it, for those damn comfy pants!!! lol

So all I can keep thinking about right now I can't even keep up to the world of comfy pants anymore.........does this mean it is true...first finding the varicose veins, then the grandma shoes and now the lack of knowledge in comfy trends...yep I'm getting old!!!!

have a great Monday

Sunday, January 4, 2009

a thank-you....

I just wanted to write a quick post, to two people in my life who have offered me such support in the last couple months. You are the two people that know exactly what I am going through right now, because well it is simple you have been there.
You have been through all the ups and downs..the highs and the have taken this roller coaster ride! I am so thankful and encouraged when I hear from either of truly know exactly what to say.

So thank-you Jen and Sarah, both of you. I am grateful to know you and to be able to share this journey with you both. You are a huge support. Your children are blessed to have you and lucky to be a part of your forever family!


Saturday, January 3, 2009

it's been awhile...!!!

I can't believe it has been so long since I last "blogged". We have had such a nice few days together. Both of us took yesterday off, just an extra day to get ourselves rested from our crazy Christmas Season. As crazy as the month of December is for me at is so hard to imagine how SLOW Jan. can be. This is the month to take a few days here and there for me. It makes me nausea's to see so many girls sitting around doing nothing at work, so it is better that I am just not there....

Yesterday we met with our social worker, we hadn't chatted with her since we signed off on our home study in August. We really felt we needed to speak with her and get some clarification on a few things. It is funny when people start realizing that you are in the adoption many stories they want to share with you. Everyone knows someone that knows someone that has had a successful adoption...sometimes it makes me crazy...they make it all seem so easy. Yes sometimes it does seem fairly easy, but at this time that just isn't happening for anyone. The whole system is very "Slow" as our SW puts it.

Why is this I wonder....has it become just normal for 15-18 year old girls to get pregnant and keep there children? Has abortion become something that is obviously much more accepted? I guess both of these things must play into it. This is the reality and we need to have an adoption plan that will hopefully be successful even in these times that we are living in right now.

So we discussed the thought of entering the public system....very scary for us but something I think we should look into. When you enter the CAS system you really need to assess your boundaries. So in the days ahead we will be doing some soul searching and talking about what we do really think we can handle.

We also asked about our profile it okay should it say more, should it say less??? Of course we think it looks well as everyone we show...but that doesn't mean to people that don't know us and love us will think the I waited for our SW response and then I got it...."well I think it is great and others have seen it because, I know I have had it out once"......and that is when I stopped listening to anything else she said.

In my mind that meant we have been presented, I really didn't want anymore information. I will just let that one be...haha yeah right. I was up all night tossing and turning thinking about it. Terry of course is the rational one, immediately after our SW left he hugged me and said it doesn't mean we were not picked..maybe the birth family was looking for a catholic family, maybe they wanted a family with just can't drive yourself crazy with this stuff Michelle...and actually we don't even know if that is what she meant...maybe she has just shown all the other social workers in London our profile so they know we are out there??
He is right....such logic....such patience....I am so lucky to have him...

So that was that we will chat about entering the CAS system and be patient...this will happen I know.....

Today I am back at work and that is always much better for me...I loved my days with Terry we had so much fun and I feel very rested..ready to take on the next for me getting back to work is keeps me busy, keeps me thinking about other things.

We have a few things on this weekend that should be fun..dinner at friends and Sunday I think I am going to try out a new church, that friends of mine go to. We will see, this is one of my goals this year, to find a church family that I feel comfortable in....something that I just haven't found since moving to London.

hope everyone has a great weekend