Tuesday, June 22, 2010

and the wait continues....

we are still waiting...however we are waiting a little more optimistically tonight than we have been for the past 3 weeks....when we thought all hope was gone, around 2pm today we finally had some very reassuring news.......

and I am sure it is due to all of the amazing support we have in our lives........the prayers, the positive thinking...all of it....thank-you!

Friday, June 18, 2010

no news is good news??

We are still waiting. As far as we know, no baby has arrived. I can't help but have an imagination going wild at this time.....every time I get really really down or crazed I just think about "N" and that snaps me right back to reality......if I am having a stressful time right now she is feeling stress 90 times more........I just can't imagine!

It is funny really, I think I have thought about every possible outcome.......I have got my response down pat for my clients and friends if things don't work out.......I feel prepared for whatever happens....I have had a day of anxious tears......I have had a day of gleeful anticipation and I have many days somewhere in the middle....I feel prepared to deal with whatever happens.
What I am not prepared for is what this will do to "T".........he is such a positive thinker...THANK GOODNESS....he is what gets me through those times I should be stuffed into a straight jacket and rolled away to a room with padded walls....he keeps me going......
Tonight T said to me..."guess what happened to me today....2 different guys said Happy Fathers Day to me on the phone....that has never happened before"........my heart did a huge flip flop....first thinking is this a sign.....will this really happen......and then I thought "oh please let this be... for him.......he is the best, kindest, most honest, he is one of those really, truly good people ...forget all the mistakes I have made and give this gift to him.".....he deserves to be a Dad...he will be the best Dad there ever was.......

Now I know what is meant to be will be........and I am truly hoping and praying and thinking positive about it all.......and I know that we will get through whatever is to happen......
All we want is the best possible life for this sweet child.......whatever, wherever that shall be!

thanks again for all your prayers and finger crossing!

Monday, June 14, 2010

sorry for all the feel good motivational posts, but it is the only thing getting me through right now....this wait is harder than I ever thought it would be...some interesting twists and turns have developed....our "story" is not an easy one to tell.......we are trying to stay positive.....due date is June 20th...hopefully by then we will have some answers......thanks to you all for your kind words, prayers and listening ears!!
"Hope inspite of hopeless circumstances,
Keep believing!
Keep praying!
Focus on the god who makes the impossible possible" .
thanks S!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

and so I will wait.........

A really good friend of mine sent me this poem a few days ago....this got her through a really tough time and so it will me!

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And then God so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As God replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Thursday, June 10, 2010

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything...by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"
philippians 4: 6-7

Sunday, June 6, 2010

cautiously optimistic...

It's been awhile, I know....life is crazy.........we are waiting, we are moving and I am really trying to keep it all together!

We are totally in limbo land right now..........we have been matched, things seem very positive....but one never knows....every time I get butterflies in my stomach at the prospect of finally having our dreams come true....I am overwhelmed with emotion when I think of the woman that I have come to know and the decision that she is faced with at this time....my eyes fill with tears and my excitement quickly diminishes and my thoughts are only with her and what she faces at this time!

We continue to be cautiously optimistic........and are trying to keep our faith in check....what we know for sure is.......we want this special baby to have the most perfect life...whether that is with this special woman that we have come to know or with T and I.....we pray for the best, for this child...if you have time can you pray for the same!