Sunday, March 28, 2010

making a difference!

I had a client say to me this week...."Michelle, I am so glad that I met you...you have really made a difference in my life!


WOW........


After 17 years in this business, it still surprises me when a client says something like this to me, I tend to forget that sometimes my job has nothing to do with hair and the way people look...it has way more to do with how people feel! I forget that sometimes, I am the only person some of my clients have....the only person they can bounce ideas off of, the only person that will cry with them when they have suffered a terrible lose....the only person that will listen to them without judgement...the only person that will cheer them on, laugh at their life with them...the only person that they have!


This comment has got me thinking, it has made me think about my journey, my life thus far..........it really is funny that when you take a step back and think about your life the stuff you remember at first is the stuff you would rather forget......yes I have made some pretty major mistakes...I guess we all have....however the lessons I have learned from these mistakes I would never give back...they have been invaluable......they have made me stronger and smarter.........they have helped shape my life.

This comment from my client though has started to make me think about what kind of difference can I make....I know I could definitely be doing more, we all could I suppose. When you take a step back and for once not have all your own little problems at the forefront of your mind and look at the big picture....what else could I be doing!

I love my job for this type of thing....everyday I am left astonished by the lives of others...some are such wonderful stories that sometimes seem unreal, like a fairytale...others though, are so painful and tragic....they certainly put everything into perspective when thinking about your own life! But when someone comes in and thanks me for what I have done for them, I just have to wonder...am I doing the best I can for everyone!

Am I certain that I don't let my concerns and emotions cloud my day when talking to my clients....because that one day may be the day they really need me.....that one day that I am feeling down may be the one day they need me to be up and positive! I am so glad my client told me this for many reasons....one just because any compliment makes you feel great and certainly boost's your spirits....but more importantly it reminded me that I need to remember my job has less to do with hair and makeup and more to do with the important stuff on the inside!!

I guess we all should take a step back every once in awhile and ask ourselves what are we doing for others....are we making a positive impact, at the end of our journey are we going to be happy with what we have accomplised....and not just by the things we have but by the difference we have made!

m

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Brainwaves.....

My Husband always tells me that my brain never turns off....he will often ask me "what are you thinking right now".......and I will always reply..."nothing really nothing"....and he will look at me and laugh saying "M you are always thinking about something"........and he is right, it seems like my brain is constantly in motion...a tidal wave of emotions and thoughts....very rarely resting....it isn't uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night and not get back to sleep because my brain has turned back on!

This whole brain thing can really be a problem sometimes for me........the thoughts that run through my head in a day is almost unbelievable....the scenario's, situations and hypothetical places I can have us heading is crazy!

This past week though for some reason has been much more intense than some.......I have been up and down....and round and around!! The different emotions that have raced through me, I can hardly even explain! I have gone from content, to confused.....hopeless to satisfied.....despondent to peaceful.....heavy hearted to joyous......jealous to grateful......you name the emotion I have had it this week....

I'm not sure what is happening really, I feel a change! I can't really put my finger on it but I do feel that I am doing some real deep down soul searching and finding my way........I have said this before, what is meant to be will be and I know we will be okay with that outcome in the end.......who knows what all of this brain activity is, but something is feels different right now!
At the end of the day after everything has calmed down and I head to bed........the last thought that always flows through this over-zealous head is that faith will get us through....faith that the right thing will happen.....there will be forks in the road and we will choose and as long as we have each other we will be just fine........

m :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

***deactivation***

About a month ago I decided to take a Facebook break.......yes it was a big step, in this big bad world of social networking! I will admit this is where most of my communication with the outside world was done...invitations, quick notes of greetings, birthday messages, appt. making for my business....but I was finding that this social network can also be the means of hurt and disappointment from time to time. This is why I needed a break!

T and I were having a wonderful relaxing Sunday afternoon, watching movies, discussing our upcoming trip with me and my laptop on my knees.......this is when the day took a turn for the worse.......it really is uncanny how 5 little words can change your whole being, can take you from happy and content to absolutely miserable! It was at that moment I knew I had to get off this crazy train, of knowing every one's business! It was just too much!

The reality is, right now I am surrounded with people moving on with their lives.......having children, moving into homes where they will raise their families, all of my peers are in their mid to late 30's and that is what life is like for this age group........now I realize T and I are not the only people out there in the land of limbo, but at that instant it felt like it. For some reason this outlet was making me compare myself with everyone else....and I am not normally like that. I am very content and happy with my life.... yeah we have some stuff that we are dealing with, who doesn't! However I am not usually one to do that "grass is always greener stuff", so this just had to stop!

I knew in that instant that it was not healthy for me to know every single detail of peoples lives.....lets face it 2 years ago pre FB I would never have known over 3/4 of this information. It is just not necessary and I was becoming a person I didn't not want to become....I was seriously seeing a vision of myself flash before me as that crazed women in a straight jacket and it was not a pretty site!!!

So I did it I "deactivated" my account.......whew, you won't believe what that feels like....all of a sudden your contact to what has become your link to the outside world has vanished! I literally walked around in a daze for the rest of that day.....it was so bizarre. I had become so used to "checking in" numerous times a day to see what everyone was up to! It is actually disturbing how this had become such a part of my life! So the "FaceBookless" days turned into a week and then 2 weeks and now a month and I have to tell you, life is good!!!
Seriously it is so nice....it is refreshing for me that I don't have to worry about "Sally and her runny nose"... "Cyndi and her sons math homework" and the fact that "Jim is on his way home from London"....(now these are obviously exaggerations but you know what I mean)....not that I was bothered by any of this stuff but it took up some valuable head space here....I feel like I can concentrate now on our life.....no more comparing....just doing our thing just like everyone else!

Now who knows as I write this maybe next week or next month or year, I will head back to FB. I am not saying that I won't ever be on that site again....there are definitely some things I miss.....the contact with my cousins and nieces...the contact with some very good friends.....the B-day reminders(that was a life line for me)....but for right now it is so nice to just be living my life, planning what we are going to do next without the added pressure of everyone else's "news"!!!

m :)

Monday, March 8, 2010

dog details!

Thanks for all the comments for my last post...I can see that I certainly did surprise some people.....lol
Now for the not so positive anonymous comments...well geez thanks for those too I guess...I just wish you would let me know who you are and then I might be able to ask you some more questions about your opinions.....anywho....enough about that....I will get on to some dog details!!

So for anyone that has known me for even 5 mins(in real life, not bloggy land) will confirm that I am not entirely the biggest fan of animals....actually that isn't true.....it isn't that I don't like them it is just that I have a bit of a fear of them....cats are really really bad, like I wake up in the middle of the night sweating when I think of being in the same room with one...to a mild anxiousness around dogs.....this always passes once I get used to a dog....I totally warm up to them and might even pet them after a few hours...............yes yes miss anonymous I can just see your face....not an ideal situation for someone contemplating a dog!

However for any of you that have known my husband for a mere 2 mins...........you will know that he is the biggest animal lover on the face of this planet......and I am NOT kidding here....I often tease him that he has a special language that only he and animals share..........it doesn't matter where we go if there is a dog cat....bird...hamster they will immediately be at T's footsteps and he is so great with them.....giving them all the attention they need and deserve!

Yes growing up T always had a dog in the house.........all his siblings have dogs and cats....and T is their favorite human on the planet I am sure of it! So you can imagine T's family and friends surprise when he brought this new girl home and had to warn them to hide all four legged animals before we arrived...........yes I can just imagine their jaws hitting the floor.....YOU are dating someone that doesn't like animals.......(and again it is not dislike it is fear) they obviously thought it was absurd and clearly wouldn't last.......T the animal lover, they had always imagined him with a dog by his side.........I believe one of T's friends even said those exact words to him...."are you sure she is scared of dogs"...........well I guess he was sure because not too many months later we were engaged and there was no puppy in sight!!

We definitely have chatted about pets before.....I have said that really I could see myself totally falling in love with a dog someday, a cat never.......unfortunately where we live at this point though doesn't allow pets, so this was something that we would talk about and then just say " well no need to worry about it right now because we can't at this point anyways"!!!

I have been thinking about it on and off ever since we bought the cottage....thinking how much T would love to have a dog and how when we are up there it would be such a great place for him or her........but then I would always come back to our place in the city....no pets! So after our trip when we decided that it was time to keep on keepin on, I was driving home one night and thought....well there is absolutely no reason why we can't make a lateral move in the city to a better suited location to have a pet and after that get a dog to be part of our family!!

Honestly it was so awesome when I suggested this to T.........if you could have seen the look on his face.........seriously this guy loves dogs..........and I truly believe that I will too........as far as all the details people have commented about, what about when we are at work etc....well luckily T can take the little puppy with him if need be, it has been done before when his brother got a lab a few years ago(I'm sure my MIL is dying right now).....and yes I get that dogs/puppies are a ton of work but I think it will be such a great addition..........and honestly I can't wait!

Yes this would be something very new and different for me, but for T this is really very normal....he is very experienced and informed about having a dog be part of you family......I must admit I do think that all along he was pretty sure he would convince me that this would be a great thing.....good job T!!!

m

Sunday, March 7, 2010

limbo land....see you later........

Wow I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted!! It has been a great, but very very busy last few weeks!

We had a wonderful vacation....filled with lots of relaxing...too much food, some great chats and good old beach time!! We couldn't have asked for better weather and everything including our flights (minus not getting our luggage on our way home back for a few days) was perfect!! As I said we did a ton of "regrouping" while we were away!!

It is funny how even though you see each other everyday....you sometimes need time away from everything to be able to sort life out........to really have the time to talk without any interruptions....and that is what we did! I suppose T might say "wow that was alot of talking" lol

So here is what we came up with.....it is time to put adoption on the back burner...........I'm exhausted....which makes T exhausted........I'm so tired of this consuming my every thought and move........I really can't do it anymore.....I have come to the conclusion that I need to move on.....this doesn't mean that we are giving up....not at all, our profiles are still with our different agencies and if something is meant to be it will be so awesome, but I am going to take a step back.........I need to get my life back...not be so vocal about everything...I just can't let it consume me anymore......
This life of limbo has to stop.....so that is what we are going to do.....move ahead with our life....I have plans for my business, we would like to move within this year.....and I think we are going to get a new addition to our little family........a DOG..........now I can see about 8 faces just about dying of shock......haha...........so I am going to end this post right now just so I can hear all these predictable.....absolutely hilarious comments......tomorrow I will be back with some more details!!!!! lol lol

later folks.....
m :)