Friday, June 18, 2010

no news is good news??

We are still waiting. As far as we know, no baby has arrived. I can't help but have an imagination going wild at this time.....every time I get really really down or crazed I just think about "N" and that snaps me right back to reality......if I am having a stressful time right now she is feeling stress 90 times more........I just can't imagine!

It is funny really, I think I have thought about every possible outcome.......I have got my response down pat for my clients and friends if things don't work out.......I feel prepared for whatever happens....I have had a day of anxious tears......I have had a day of gleeful anticipation and I have many days somewhere in the middle....I feel prepared to deal with whatever happens.
What I am not prepared for is what this will do to "T".........he is such a positive thinker...THANK GOODNESS....he is what gets me through those times I should be stuffed into a straight jacket and rolled away to a room with padded walls....he keeps me going......
Tonight T said to me..."guess what happened to me today....2 different guys said Happy Fathers Day to me on the phone....that has never happened before"........my heart did a huge flip flop....first thinking is this a sign.....will this really happen......and then I thought "oh please let this be... for him.......he is the best, kindest, most honest, he is one of those really, truly good people ...forget all the mistakes I have made and give this gift to him.".....he deserves to be a Dad...he will be the best Dad there ever was.......

Now I know what is meant to be will be........and I am truly hoping and praying and thinking positive about it all.......and I know that we will get through whatever is to happen......
All we want is the best possible life for this sweet child.......whatever, wherever that shall be!

thanks again for all your prayers and finger crossing!
m:)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thinking about you and your journey often! Sending you lots of positive thoughts Michelle.
Marianne xoxo

Anonymous said...

thinking of you and am hoping for good news - you deserve it!!!

Sheila's 2010 Adventures said...

Just remember friend! They come when they feel like it, not when we want them too . . . that being said, hang in there. You will be a pretty spectacular mom too!

XOXOXOXO

Anonymous said...

Thinking of both you and T. You are in my prayers every night (& even in a wish chip tonight!!)
Heather xoxo

Anonymous said...

Good luck to you guys. I'm sure your social worker will call you as soon as birth mom is in labour or has had the baby. So happy you get to experience being parents!

Shelley said...

I'm thinking of both of you as well. So funny to come from FB where I went to T's page and considered sending him a Happy Father's Day message and then to come directly here and read this! A father in waiting is still a father, right? Happy Father's Day, T and may you have an almost one yr old next father's day.

Hang in there, M. If all these good vibes from all your readers could make it happen, here's hoping you will be a mommy very soon!

Giantspeedbump said...

Still routing for you from the East coast! And don't sell yourself short--you, too, will be a fantastic parent!!

Sally Bacchetta said...

Thinking of you, T, and "N"!