Last night I came across some information, information that I wasn't sure I would ever want but here it was for me to take...and I think in the end it was a good thing that I saw this, last night I realized more then ever before that things really do turn out just the way they are supposed to!!
What I found out yesterday was that "N" (if you are just tuning in to this blog "N" is the woman that we were matched with this summer....the woman that we came to trust and get to know...the woman that changed her mind....the woman that truly didn't know any other way of doing what she did)...we have always been OK with what happened this summer, truly believing that she knew no other way.....that things turn out as they should...even though our hearts where broken we really did see her side of things! In saying that though I always hoped and prayed for her, that things turned out as she hoped....that her partner would stick around...that her other children would love him and he them.....I hoped for her that all her dreams for the future for her family would come true.
Last night I found out that so far so good....it looks like things are going so well for her...it seems that that family unit she was so wanting more then anything else in the world has finally happened.....her sweet little baby is of course gorgeous...adorable....but from the minute I saw him, I knew that he was not to be our child....that child is absolutely where he should be......with both of his parents....with his brothers....the love that he has surrounding him right now is amazing.....it became very clear to me that what happened was what was supposed to happen in this situation.....
This whole experience made me feel a huge sense of closure......even though I held no anger towards "N", I always wondered...and now I know....she is happy and so is that sweet little boy!!! I now can truly close the book on that chapter in our lives....with a smile...I may never understand why we had to have this lesson in our lives, but we are stronger and richer in spirit because of it...for that I am grateful! I am also very grateful for the brief moment I had last night...that what was meant to be was exactly what happened!!!