Saturday, April 18, 2009

overwhelmed........


So earlier this week both T and I decided that it was time to branch out...time to get more aggressive with this whole "waiting" thing.....I hate waiting, I hate being patient....I just can't stand it.......when I want to do something I do it...when I have an idea I just do it, I don't sit around and wait for it to happen........this is why this whole process is a freaking nightmare for me.......

I think it was a combination of things that made both of us realize that we can't just count on the system to make an adoption happen.....the first event that woke us up was when our 17 year old niece told us 3 girls from her school were pregnant and were giving the babies up for adoption.....uggg boy did that hit home...wow.....if only....well there is no point in living in the "if only" mind set...we now just have to make sure this never happens again........we need to get our names out there and get people really knowing what we are dreaming of!

This whole time, I really thought we were very approachable...I thought we talked about adoption tons and I really thought people were comfortable talking to us about it......but the reality was not many people, especially the people closest to us ever brought it up.....I know I have talked about this before....we tried not to take it personally but well that was impossible....

So we decided to write a letter.........a letter to all the people in our lives that mean the most to us, and we asked for help....first thing was to try to make people understand that we do want to talk about this, to not be afraid to ask us questions if they had any. The next thing was asking them all to spread the word, loud and clear that they knew a couple that really really wanted to adopt.........
So as I clicked send on this mass email....I was nervous........what would people think....was this going to scare people away...was this going to make it worse.........

Well my fears were absolutely wrong.......the response I got from many people was overwhelming.......the support system we have is out of this world..........people were actually thanking me for writing this email.... they can feel absolutely confident about talking with us about our adoption and the process........which I think is so great.......we already had dinner with friends tonight and chatted at length about adoption and some of the ins and outs that go along with it.

Others have already sent our letter onto other people in they're lives that might be able to help or at least spread the word further...some of the connections just within our small group of friends and family is amazing.....wow when you make yourself vulnerable, truly amazing things really do happen!!

I know this is going to happen for us, I also know this is part of gods plan for us.....it may not be easy but it will be worth it.....and it will be so worth it!

If I didn't know before I certainly know now, we have an amazing support system....everyone who replied to us with encouragement, love and well wishes have made this bit of the process so much easier.........THANKS TO YOU ALL!!!

love
m
I just wanted to share the letter that I sent out.......I want to share it with all of you...because on those really really bad days.....you are all here for me, you who understand this like no others in my life, you are always here no matter what!

xoxo

Hello Everyone!

You are all probably wondering what this email is about....well we are asking for your help! The nearest and dearest in our lives! We need your support!

As you all know we are in the "waiting" process of a private domestic adoption. At this point in time we have been officially waiting for about 7 months.....in that time there has been one successful adoption in our district, but nothing else........although the list of waiting couples grows everyday( I believe the tally is up to 7 couples right now)! We will be honest this process is hard.....much harder than either of us ever thought possible!

We both continue to be positive and do believe everything in life happens for a reason and things will work out when they are meant too.

It has however been suggested to us to seek out as many people and get them talking about our desire to adopt. We pray that we will be lucky enough to raise a child of our own someday.

This is were you all come in.........first and foremost we want you all to know that we want to talk about this, this is a huge part of our life...we live this process everyday.
We don't want to be that couple that you are afraid of "talking to" because of the situation we are in! We feel the more we talk about it, the more information we can give everyone about adoption. The more information you all know could help us tremendously. Most of all though, your support means the world to us!

One thing that has become more apparent to us over the past few months, is how many adoptions actually happen through "word of mouth"....a women we have come to know recently, actually was matched through another family member....it was as simple as her sister knew a lady who's niece accidentally found herself pregnant and wanted to place her child in an adoption...the connection was made and now a couple has been blessed with a baby and this 15 year old teenager can continue on with her life, with no worries!

I know with some of you we have talked about the ins and outs of domestic adoption before, but with others we haven't.....I won't bore any of you with the details here, but we would love to talk about it with anyone if you have any questions. I know sometimes we are very guilty of putting a smile on our face and saying everything is great..and moving on to the next topic of discussion. We have however realized that in this situation that is not helping....we need to open up more and talk...we need as many people as possible to know about our desires..... and maybe, just maybe someday soon our dreams will come true!

Thank so much for all your support!
Terry and Michelle
ps I'm attaching a page from our profile book...this is the book that potential birth mothers look at when they are choosing the couple to raise their child.
-also I have posted a link that we both found emotional although informative..he deserves more

12 comments:

Sally's World said...

what an incredibly moving letter and post!

peoples reactions often surprise us in a good way, it's heart warming isn't it.

i have no doubt this will happen for you, this is a great way to spread the word.

sending, luck, love and gods speed to bring you your precious angel!

xxxxx

RB said...

Your letter was perfect! What a great way to spread the word. :)

Melba said...

That is a great idea, and I'm so glad you posted the letter, because as I was reading the first part of your post I was thinking of asking you for a copy of it! :)

We have also been thinking lately about doing more "outreach" because just siting here and waiting is very frustrating!! What a great way to get the ball rolling!!

Melba

Krista said...

Hi there,

I recently found your blog thru another. My husband and I adopted domestically four years ago thru an agency in San Francisco and I understand the waiting is so not fun!

One thing our agency had us do to be proactive is to send a birthmother letter to obgyns and planned parenthoods country wide. We used a great database service that let us pick our states and ended up sending out 3000 letter, we had 10 responses the first month. Our birthmother did find us that way, the doctor who was her Ob showed her our letter when she said she wanted to place her child for adoption, they were in Ohio!

Anyway, if you would like any more info feel free to email me kpmerlino@yahoo.com

Until you get your baby...hang in there. It is so worth all the work and anxiety.

xxKrista

Krista said...
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Krista said...
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Shauna said...

L♥ve your blog! Hope you are having a great day! ♥ HUGS ♥

Maki said...

Aw sweetheart - your letter is so moving and touching, it makes me cry...

I know it will happen to you and your husband, if anything, you are the most deserving couple on earth to adopt a baby!!!

I'm glad that you're finally able to open up and tell the world how you have felt about this whole thing; now the door is open, it will come!!!

xoxo

Dionne said...

This is awesome, Michelle! What a great idea to send out a letter and let everyone know how you feel, where you stand, and that you are open to talk about it.

All of us who read your blog KNOW it's going to happen for you, and KNOW that you are sooo deserving of it, and that whoever the child is that is that you are going to be the proud parent of is going to be SO BLESSED to have you!

Chris Bliss said...

I loved your letter!
I am so glad you did that and reached out to those around you.

I know you both will be parents in due time. I will keep you in my prayers!

Erica said...

That is so wonderful! I am so glad that you got such a positive response. I know that it feels so good to finally be able to openly talk about such a big chunk of your life. It's crazy to think that you may have just started the chain of events that brings your baby home!!

Erica

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

Wow...that was so powerful! I am praying for you and wishing you every bit of good luck...this WILL happen for you!
Hugs!