Monday, April 27, 2009

who's opinion matters........

I have been thinking a lot lately about something my cousin and I talked about a few days ago...we were discussing how people may have preconceived opinions about you....do people always take you at face value at that moment or do they base their opinion on what they know about you, what they have heard about you, or as simple as what they remember about you. Things from your past, how you acted then, or how you handled situations years ago. Does that make it difficult for them because they can't forget what has happened in the past. Unfortunately do they not see you for what you are now or what you are trying to be in this very moment????

Do you think this is the way it is??? I for one can't even give you an honest answer about myself....I truly hope I don't do that to people. I hope that I clear my mind if I have known someone for years and maybe they have made some bad choices..(or at least in my opinion they have made bad choices)...I hope I have an open mind about them....and give them my full attention...evaluate what they are doing or asking of me at that very moment, without clouded judgement!

We all have made mistakes.....gosh I sure have.........yikes.........but one thing I do know for sure is every mistake I have made over the last 34 years I have learned from........some of these lessons have been oh so tough......most I would not want to repeat.....but they happened and I became a stronger person for them! I also think from all of those mistakes I have made, I have become a more caring, compassionate person...I know I have changed so much over my lifetime..the way I think, the way I see the world. What was once important to me is no longer and things that I never thought about have become my passion.....so I would just assume that this happens to everyone.......if I don't want people judging me from the way I once was, why would I do that to them??

I have not talked much about the fact that I was married once before, a relationship that did not last a long time.......after much heartache the relationship ended. The relationship ended but the pressure I put on myself went on for years. I worried so much about what people were thinking. I spent hours agonizing over the poor decision I had made and was sure that that small detail in my big big life was going to be the thing that people remembered about me. Because I was so ashamed of being a "divorced" women at 24 years of age, I just assumed that is what everyone else must have been thinking too......and maybe that is what people think.....I have now realized how much I learned from those years....I became a much stronger, wiser, calmer person after that. I also remind myself that if that had not happened I would never have met T....so really it all happened in perfect timing!

So I guess we will never really know what people are thinking....(which is probably a good thing)....people are never always going to agree with your decisions....there will always be people in your life that support you wholehearted all the time and you will always have people in your life that question and doubt you. It is up to you to decide who you spend your time and energy listening too. If in your heart of hearts you are doing what you believe and what you feel is right, then really that is all that matters!!!!

You create your own destiny! In the end you will only have to answer to yourself.....and believe me your gut is tough....it never leaves you...so you want to be sure that you are doing yourself proud, not spending precious time worrying about how others perceive you!

m:)

11 comments:

Jamie D said...

love this
thanks for the chat M
xo

Sally's World said...

this is a great post, real food for thought, i guess we are only responsible for ourselves, our own thoughts, and need to be truly happy within, so that no one elses opinion matters...not easy, but surely the only way to be content...

there will always be people who judge on past mistakes...but the past is not what defines us...

Anonymous said...

Michelle: Perhaps if you would take this one step further and realize that the only One we are really responsible to is... God...not humankind at all... then the rest comes much more naturally and easily. God is the One who ultimately forgives us and loves us despite our mistakes. When I finally got my head around that then living this life has been one of happiness despite my continuing to make lots of mistakes and be hurt from time to time. Life is such a blessing and not to be wasted for even a moment. Love, Mom

michelle said...

so true Mom....I believe if more people lived their life with those beliefs the world would be a much better place to live in.

xoxo

Dionne said...

Since we can't control what others choose to remember about us, and how they think about us - i say we just live life the best way we know how, and if they still don't like us - they're missing out!

Maki said...

It's so true! But I tend to worry about what others think about me... Hmmm, I think I need to learn to snap out of it and enjoy who I really am!

Thanks for this post, michelle!

Brooke said...

i have a few friends (well friends of friends really) that can't seem to see past mistakes that i've made. its unfortunate, because it just makes spending time with them uncomfortable.

Sally Bacchetta said...

I love this post, Michelle. It takes me back to a former job situation... my boss was cruel, predatory, and manipulative, and took great pride in making his female employees cry. Except me. I once told him what I used to tell myself before each meeting with him: "You're not God and you're not my husband, so I really don't care what you think of me." Your post reminded me of it because none of us know what other people really think of us, and it took me far too long to realize how little that matters anyway. Thanks for your thought-provoking post! Hugs and positive vibes to you!

the "mom" said...

Susan
best words of wisdom ever... glad you wrote that..
after that - nothing else to say you know...
keep giving us words of wisdom please
cj

Yaya said...

So true. It took me years in counseling to realize that it doesn't matter what other people think as long as I'm happy with myself.

Erica said...

Great post. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason...we get to where we are through the little steps (good and bad) along our path. We had to take everyone to get to this moment, so they were all exactly what was needed at the time to teach us the lessons we needed for later.