Thursday, April 30, 2009

to be prepared....


It has been a very exciting week around here.......my closest and dearest friend gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on Tues morning! He is just the cutest thing.....I went to see them on Wed morning at the hospital and he is a doll!! Let the spoiling begin!!

The strangest thing happened to me on Sunday night....I had the craziest most real dream, my girlfriend had had her baby...it was a boy and they named it...... well I'm not even going to say the name because it isn't one that I really am fond of and later found out neither was my girlfriend, but I don't want to offend anyone!!! Anyways my dream was sooooo real, it was one of those moments when you wake up in the morning and really have to collect yourself because you can't figure out if this has really happened or not!
Now let me explain myself here, I am not into analyzing my dreams.........ever...I rarely talk about my dreams or even remember them...but this one is just too crazy not to mention....

So in the dream we were all at the hospital having a visit.....now the part of the dream that I haven't told anyone about is, in my dream I was very very sad....crying actually....I was saying to everyone that I had tears of happiness and relief but it wasn't I was just really sad about everything.....thinking about how things were going to change...my relationship with my girlfriend....the fact that it seems like everyone is going to have a baby except me....blah blah blah feeling really sickeningly sorry for myself....so I woke up really disturbed and annoyed with myself and I guess most of all nervous........hoping and praying that this was not how I was going to feel when the real event happened!

I did tell my girlfriend and my Mom about the dream...not the sad part just the fact that I had dreamt that she had had her baby the night before.....

It's funny after my girlfriend's baby was born, I was talking to my Mom and she said well look at that M....God really prepared you for what was to come today didn't he...........when she first said it I didn't think much about it.........but I absolutely think that is what he did for me.........because not once did I feel those emotions, that I had in my dream.
From the minute I took the phone call from my girlfriends husband I was sooooo overcome with excitement and happiness...and of course relief that everyone was okay and doing well!! I even had my guard up a bit as I walked down the halls of the hospital, approaching the room where I would meet the baby and see my girlfriend as a Mom for the first time..........and again I was soooo relieved that the only emotion I felt was joy...genuine happiness for my friends but also for me.....I am going to see this little guy grow up and be part of his life and I can't wait to share all of these experiences with my friend!

I know that my Mom was right.....God was preparing me, and maybe even letting me get out those few emotions before the big day.....so I could really enjoy what was happening....and boy am I thankful he did.....because I wouldn't have wanted to miss this, not one part of it!!

m :)

4 comments:

Sally's World said...

I'm so glad you had nothing but feelings of joy for your freind and her little angel....sometimes dreams are a way of preparing, and of course, our deepest fears can come to the front so freely, maybe subconcsiously you were worried you wouldn't feel so pleased, its certainly not unusual...

with love !

Dionne said...

Oh how awesome! God is the best, isn't He? The most considerate friend EVER!

I am happy that you got to share in this moment with your girlfriend in total joy!

Brooke said...

congrats to your friend (and to you for being able to celebrate with her).

my 5 year old niece is always giving me tips on how to be a mommy.

"aunt boo, a mommy wouldn't do that."

"but i'm not a mommy so its okay."

"you need practice."

Erica said...

I am so glad that you were able to enjoy the moment; truly enjoy it fully with your friend. That is wonderful! I agree with your Mom totally-I think God was helping you let go of some of the negative feelings so you wouldn't lose that moment. If you hadn't, then you would have just ended up feeling guilty that you let the whole thing be tainted by the negative feelings...and that wouldn't have been good. God has a way of giving us exactly what we need at just the right moment... :)