Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Brainwaves.....

My Husband always tells me that my brain never turns off....he will often ask me "what are you thinking right now".......and I will always reply..."nothing really nothing"....and he will look at me and laugh saying "M you are always thinking about something"........and he is right, it seems like my brain is constantly in motion...a tidal wave of emotions and thoughts....very rarely resting....it isn't uncommon for me to wake up in the middle of the night and not get back to sleep because my brain has turned back on!

This whole brain thing can really be a problem sometimes for me........the thoughts that run through my head in a day is almost unbelievable....the scenario's, situations and hypothetical places I can have us heading is crazy!

This past week though for some reason has been much more intense than some.......I have been up and down....and round and around!! The different emotions that have raced through me, I can hardly even explain! I have gone from content, to confused.....hopeless to satisfied.....despondent to peaceful.....heavy hearted to joyous......jealous to grateful......you name the emotion I have had it this week....

I'm not sure what is happening really, I feel a change! I can't really put my finger on it but I do feel that I am doing some real deep down soul searching and finding my way........I have said this before, what is meant to be will be and I know we will be okay with that outcome in the end.......who knows what all of this brain activity is, but something is feels different right now!
At the end of the day after everything has calmed down and I head to bed........the last thought that always flows through this over-zealous head is that faith will get us through....faith that the right thing will happen.....there will be forks in the road and we will choose and as long as we have each other we will be just fine........

m :)

2 comments:

Giantspeedbump said...

I could have written this post! I have experienced every emotion you described and more...in the run of a day!!
It is so difficult to keep your soul from wilting and dying...I understand it more than you know.
But it's also so important to not let youself sink and drown. You owe it to your someday baby to stay strong so that when he/she arrives, you'll be the best you can be. :)

the "mom" said...

we have the same brains.....
never ever stops