Monday, March 15, 2010

***deactivation***

About a month ago I decided to take a Facebook break.......yes it was a big step, in this big bad world of social networking! I will admit this is where most of my communication with the outside world was done...invitations, quick notes of greetings, birthday messages, appt. making for my business....but I was finding that this social network can also be the means of hurt and disappointment from time to time. This is why I needed a break!

T and I were having a wonderful relaxing Sunday afternoon, watching movies, discussing our upcoming trip with me and my laptop on my knees.......this is when the day took a turn for the worse.......it really is uncanny how 5 little words can change your whole being, can take you from happy and content to absolutely miserable! It was at that moment I knew I had to get off this crazy train, of knowing every one's business! It was just too much!

The reality is, right now I am surrounded with people moving on with their lives.......having children, moving into homes where they will raise their families, all of my peers are in their mid to late 30's and that is what life is like for this age group........now I realize T and I are not the only people out there in the land of limbo, but at that instant it felt like it. For some reason this outlet was making me compare myself with everyone else....and I am not normally like that. I am very content and happy with my life.... yeah we have some stuff that we are dealing with, who doesn't! However I am not usually one to do that "grass is always greener stuff", so this just had to stop!

I knew in that instant that it was not healthy for me to know every single detail of peoples lives.....lets face it 2 years ago pre FB I would never have known over 3/4 of this information. It is just not necessary and I was becoming a person I didn't not want to become....I was seriously seeing a vision of myself flash before me as that crazed women in a straight jacket and it was not a pretty site!!!

So I did it I "deactivated" my account.......whew, you won't believe what that feels like....all of a sudden your contact to what has become your link to the outside world has vanished! I literally walked around in a daze for the rest of that day.....it was so bizarre. I had become so used to "checking in" numerous times a day to see what everyone was up to! It is actually disturbing how this had become such a part of my life! So the "FaceBookless" days turned into a week and then 2 weeks and now a month and I have to tell you, life is good!!!
Seriously it is so nice....it is refreshing for me that I don't have to worry about "Sally and her runny nose"... "Cyndi and her sons math homework" and the fact that "Jim is on his way home from London"....(now these are obviously exaggerations but you know what I mean)....not that I was bothered by any of this stuff but it took up some valuable head space here....I feel like I can concentrate now on our life.....no more comparing....just doing our thing just like everyone else!

Now who knows as I write this maybe next week or next month or year, I will head back to FB. I am not saying that I won't ever be on that site again....there are definitely some things I miss.....the contact with my cousins and nieces...the contact with some very good friends.....the B-day reminders(that was a life line for me)....but for right now it is so nice to just be living my life, planning what we are going to do next without the added pressure of everyone else's "news"!!!

m :)

6 comments:

Baby Wanted said...

I've been thinking about doing the same thing after getting in a huge fight with a friend on FB. I blogged about the lovely event but it has made me want to deactivate as well! Good for you!

BB said...

I love this! I was reading something about people being so "logged in" these days. I don't want my kids' memories of me being on the computer. I am doing something similar sometimes in April... and I am excited about it!

Maki said...

I do have FB and I was addicted to it at first, but now, I'm like "what the hey?" - I sometimes feel it's more of self-absorbed for many people. I don't need to know my friends activities every single minute or what's on their minds. I think it's a great way to stay connected, but I don't use it to pour myself out there anymore.

Good for you to do what you did - I'm sure it felt fabulous!!!!

xoxo

Sheila's 2010 Adventures said...

Good for you! There are so many days too that I think why am I on here - I use it to procrastinate and waste time when I could be so much more productive. Now I try to check only once a day! That is enough to know that nothing has changed since yesterday. Kind of like soap operas that way!

Anonymous said...

I know of a few people who had perfectly fine marriages but reconnected with their highschool friends on Facebook and guess what? They have split with their spouses and are now with the other. I think Facebook "can be" a dangerous place to be. I won't start with it, not because of my friend's situations but just don't want to be bothered with it. I have better things to do with my time - and life - so good for you for deactivating. You have a beautiful life and cottage time is nearly here so best to enjoy that to the fullest. I'm sure once you forget the Facebook thing and baby thing, ta da, a baby will enter your lives!

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

Wow! Good for you! Hi, my name is Rose and I too am a Face Book checker-in-er! I have often thought about deactivating - but in the last year and a half that I've used it it has brought me sooooo much closer to all of my family who live on the other side of the country and in other countries. The hard part is all the people who are "friends" who are really just pieces of a past life - gradeschool, highschool....aquaintances, really...for me...it's about learning to say no and ignore all the extra noise in life - on line and in real life.

I applaud you for taking that step!