Wednesday, May 20, 2009

how lucky you are.....

Today I have been feeling super annoyed....I just can't believe the way some people talk?? It baffles me........now I know that until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes you really don't know what another person's life is really like........but honestly sometimes........people amaze me!!!

I get that I don't have kids and that maybe I just don't understand.........but come on.......your children are a blessing...no matter how you did it...whether you have been fortunate enough to have your children naturally, you have adopted...........whatever............you are SO LUCKY........so please do not say out loud, in the presence of your children that they are a pain and if you had known this was how it was going to be you wouldn't have done this.........or the ever popular "I would think about this M before you do this whole adoption thing, because if I had to do it again I would never have any children....your life as far as I'm concerned is perfect"...........

I have had a few things come up today that seem to be following this same theme........and quite frankly it makes me nausea's that people would say such things about their children......I guess you are right.......I just don't understand????????????

10 comments:

RB said...

I totally get you.

Jamie D said...

good for you!!!

Maki said...

Oh my god sweetie, I totally understand what you are saying!!

It's true, children are blssing! Yes, there are times I want to chase my kids down and totally tickle them to death, but they are precious souls.. I'm so lucky to have them in my life and I believe all children are blessing. It's the parents who need to open their eyes to embrace that. See, babies never ask them to bring them to this world - the parents did. It's their responsibility to provide what's best for their kids.

Stay strong - you are so right!!!
xoxo

Melba said...

I understand this, and I feel your pain and irritation. To me, THEY are the ones who just don't get it!!! I wish people like the ones you mention had to go through a long and complicated process, involving tons of money, personal probing, and one hellish emotional roller coaster in order to get pregnant! I bet you if that was the case, they would never ever pass go...whatever!

The only thing I can say is...try not to waste your energy on those comments, even though I know that is much more easily said than done!

Hugs,

Melba

Rebekah said...

I work with one of those women...When I first started my job we hadn't decided on adoption, yet, and every day was painful. Multiple times a weeks she'd come in exasperated, stomp by my desk and say, "Be glad you don't have children!" She'll never know how much her words hurt.

The Me/ The Wife/ The Mom said...

I have a good friend who has two adorable little girls. She adores them...they are her whole life. That being said, when speaks about them, in front of them, she will constantly tell me how rough it is to have them and use phrasing that I won't bore you with...but would be hurtful to an adult to hear said about them, let alone a child. So I always reply in front of the girls about how they are joy in this world and how fabulous they are....to my friend I say , "I'm sure they enjoy hearing that from their mother. Remember these conversations when they are asking you for money for therapy. Knock it off!"

Some people get caught up in their everyday exhaustion and feel like bitching and complaining about the most precious thing in their life is part of the parenthood rite of passage.

The same applies to adults in relationships. I used to shake my head in confusion when women I'd meet would call their boyfriends "aholes"...my constant thought was..."what does that make you for dating him?"

Consider the source and move on.

michelle said...

you guys are all sooooo right...I keep reminding myself to forget about what others say and worry about my own stuff...lol easier said then done obviously!

m:)

Brooke said...

people have actually said that?? oh my! :(

Erica said...

In those moments, I have been known to tell people that they should count their blessings and one day they will remember that they said that and really, really regret that. Usually, they just aren't thinking about how what they are saying is coming out...and then they stop. LOL

Sally Bacchetta said...

I DO get parents feeling overwhelmed, exasperated, etc., but there's no excuse for speaking that way in front of a child.

My trick? When I feel my inner levels rising I look at my daughter's hands. So much smaller than mine... still soft and unblemished... I remember the feel of her hand in mine... and it reminds me which of us is responsible for taking the high road, which of us is responsible for holding the temper, which of us is responsible for taking a deep breath, for finding patience or energy or perspective where there seems to be none. And it's me, every time.

Sometimes our blessings shine so bright we have to step back to see them clearly.