Tuesday, March 24, 2009

puberty........WHEN will it end???

So I have just finished my nightly ritual....which includes the same drill every single night........this certain chain of events has been happening night after night, for probably 20 or so years now.........pull the hair away from the face...rinse all of the makeup off........cleanse...exfoliate...and then access the situation.....yes that's right, it is always a "situation"...........seriously could someone please let me know when the pimples...the adult acne...the zits are going to go away???
As I sit here with an interesting checkerboard pattern of white Aveda "spot treatment"(they try to make it sound so pretty don't they) on my face, I got to thinking.........

COME ON PUBERTY.... I can't believe you are still around!!! I am still having teenage breakouts and I am freakin 34 years of age.......it just drives me crazy...it actually stresses me out...........you might be laughing right now.... saying to yourself "oh come on whats a few pimples here and there" and yes you are correct this is not life threatening...but when you spend 24/7 in front of a full length mirror with yourself as the reflection your self esteem sometimes needs a bit of a boost. Especially when the image that you see staring back at you, is a big red welt on the side of your left cheek..........you would come home with a few issues too....lol

Yes I know I am going to get some comments telling me to try this and that, a cream that worked wonders for you cousins aunts brother or this miracle product or of course the ever popular "don't get stressed it will just make them worse"...well you don't say..........yep I think I figured that one out a LONG time ago....

Believe me..........I am 34 and in the business of beauty........I have tried them all....every miracle product...every drug....every potion....toothpaste...the zeno zapper....everything..........nope I still pretty much have a blemish on my face every single day of the week.....

Now I know the people reading this that know me in "real life" (you lucky ducks) are thinking right now, well I don't remember her skin being that bad....well listen, it is..but really it is not going to make me feel any better about myself if the next time we run into each other you are dissecting my face....really just take my word for it and move on.... concentrate on my hair or my outfit...don't spend our next visit connecting the red dots.......remember I am a make up artist........I am trained to make yucky things on peoples faces disappear.....and I am not afraid to use these techniques on myself....but I would really like to not have too.....

So come on Puberty... GO AWAY...we have had a good run........I think it is time you started to pick on someone your own size and age....go make some well deserving 13 year old miserable...that is what you do best!!!
It is time to leave this old lady alone!!!!

10 comments:

Sally's World said...

puberty's a fallacy...we go straight from spotty teenager to old age...ask my kids!!!

Rebekah said...

I SO hear you on this one. My face is the same way. Definitely not one of those girls that could EVER think about going to bed with my makeup on! Actually, I got so fed up with the whole deal I just went on Accutane - it's a cure for life. I thought about it several years ago, but you have to be on two forms of birth control (it causes defects in babies if you were to get pregnant) and that was a little counter-productive, considering we were trying to get pregnant!!!

But, now that we're adopting, I was ready to make the commitment (4-6 months!) I got to tell you....It's AMAZING. I'm going on my second month and my face has never been clearer. Doctor guarantees I'll never deal with acne again when it's all said and done. Definitely worth it! (Basically it strips all the oil from your pores and closes them.)

I know you didn't want advice...but this is worth serious consideration!

Now if only I can stop all the gray hairs from coming!! :)

Brooke said...

lol!

thankfully the only time i've had to deal with it was when i was dating Satan.

i'm quiet certain it was God's punishment because as soon as he broke up with me, my face cleared up.

Dionne said...

LOL I laughed so hard at your
'connect the dots' part, hehehe. The great thing is that you are skilled at hiding them. Me - I am the worst at concealing, I suck with makeup - so at least people won't even know yours are there!

Jamie D said...

you're quickly becoming one of the funniest people i know... great blog!

(not that u weren't always funny... but you are approaching the top 5)...

red dots or not your beautiful!

Yaya said...

"Assess the situation" Lol! Yup!!!

Dang monthly hormones.

Brittany Ann said...

Honestly, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who still gets zits. I'm a FREAKING mother, and the zits still come. Plus, I have combination skin which is i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e. So, if you do find something that works, let me in on the secret.

P.S. I popped over from SITS.

Erica said...

You are SO funny! Not afraid to use your tricks of the trade on yourself!! ROFL Thankfully, I never suffered (in puberty or now), but I have a girlfriend who did as an adult an she used ProActive and it did the trick for her. But I know how self-conscious it can make someone because I know it drove her nuts. But she did not have your tricks in her bag! Maybe they are a gift to help you keep your skills honed...or not....just trying to be positive. ;)

hope548 said...

Ok, so I don't mean to be one of those people saying try this, but I'll tell you what worked for me. I started putting flax seed in my diet and my face cleared up. I was already taking (and have since stopped taking) a fish oil pill, so I really didn't expect that to make a difference, nor did I know it would help acne.
Now it could be that the combination of that in my diet and other things I wear/do make the difference, but I went from frequent zits to one every once in a while (at least on my face).
Had to pass it on.

The Blonde Duck said...

Popping in from SITS to say hi!