Saturday, January 3, 2009

it's been awhile...!!!

I can't believe it has been so long since I last "blogged". We have had such a nice few days together. Both of us took yesterday off, just an extra day to get ourselves rested from our crazy Christmas Season. As crazy as the month of December is for me at is so hard to imagine how SLOW Jan. can be. This is the month to take a few days here and there for me. It makes me nausea's to see so many girls sitting around doing nothing at work, so it is better that I am just not there....

Yesterday we met with our social worker, we hadn't chatted with her since we signed off on our home study in August. We really felt we needed to speak with her and get some clarification on a few things. It is funny when people start realizing that you are in the adoption many stories they want to share with you. Everyone knows someone that knows someone that has had a successful adoption...sometimes it makes me crazy...they make it all seem so easy. Yes sometimes it does seem fairly easy, but at this time that just isn't happening for anyone. The whole system is very "Slow" as our SW puts it.

Why is this I wonder....has it become just normal for 15-18 year old girls to get pregnant and keep there children? Has abortion become something that is obviously much more accepted? I guess both of these things must play into it. This is the reality and we need to have an adoption plan that will hopefully be successful even in these times that we are living in right now.

So we discussed the thought of entering the public system....very scary for us but something I think we should look into. When you enter the CAS system you really need to assess your boundaries. So in the days ahead we will be doing some soul searching and talking about what we do really think we can handle.

We also asked about our profile it okay should it say more, should it say less??? Of course we think it looks well as everyone we show...but that doesn't mean to people that don't know us and love us will think the I waited for our SW response and then I got it...."well I think it is great and others have seen it because, I know I have had it out once"......and that is when I stopped listening to anything else she said.

In my mind that meant we have been presented, I really didn't want anymore information. I will just let that one be...haha yeah right. I was up all night tossing and turning thinking about it. Terry of course is the rational one, immediately after our SW left he hugged me and said it doesn't mean we were not picked..maybe the birth family was looking for a catholic family, maybe they wanted a family with just can't drive yourself crazy with this stuff Michelle...and actually we don't even know if that is what she meant...maybe she has just shown all the other social workers in London our profile so they know we are out there??
He is right....such logic....such patience....I am so lucky to have him...

So that was that we will chat about entering the CAS system and be patient...this will happen I know.....

Today I am back at work and that is always much better for me...I loved my days with Terry we had so much fun and I feel very rested..ready to take on the next for me getting back to work is keeps me busy, keeps me thinking about other things.

We have a few things on this weekend that should be fun..dinner at friends and Sunday I think I am going to try out a new church, that friends of mine go to. We will see, this is one of my goals this year, to find a church family that I feel comfortable in....something that I just haven't found since moving to London.

hope everyone has a great weekend

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