Tuesday, January 13, 2009

straight jacket may be required.....

You know that sick feeling you can get in the pit of your stomach, when someone tells you something...that is shocking or you just weren't expecting it or you knew it was possible but hoped you would never have to hear about it. Well that something happened to me today.

As I have written before there are 8 or more couples in our area waiting to adopt domestically. Now I know to some of you that probably doesn't seem like a big number, but let me give you some stats here....5 years ago there were 318 private adoptions done, last year only 108....so you can see this does not happen that often. So to have that many couples waiting in our little city is a big deal.

We are aware that there has been one successful adoption done since our homestudy process has been complete. Our Social Worker confirmed that for me last week! So that I have dealt with, yes we have been presented and no we were not chosen, hard to take yes...but we were given some information about the case and it makes perfect sense why the birth mother chose the particular couple that she did. That is a good thing....we don't want to get involved in something that isn't going to be a comfortable situation for all parties involved.

Today I had a meeting with a colleague of mine, who just happens to be waiting, just like us. Now she just seems to be such a wealth of knowledge when it comes to this adoption(note my sarcasm here), and she just loves sharing all her thoughts with me!!!! What she and her husband are doing, and what she thinks my husband and I should be doing!!
We are VERY different people...thank goodness....I personally think she is crazy....she is handling this whole thing much differently than I am, but I try to sit and listen to everything she has to say. While I keep glancing at my watch thinking my oh my...we are supposed to be getting some shit done here lady, you have me for an hour you might want to discuss some hair pomade or shine serum real shortly here, or this is a real waste of time....
But NO she continues and then she drops a BOMB..."so we were presented and chosen on New Years Eve", WHAT I honestly almost spit my wonderful Coffee Culture creation all over this women's beautiful crisp white linen shirt.......so I quickly went into work mode, and gave me best sickeningly sweet smile and said "oh wow that is great... so what is going on"???? and she then continues with the rest of the story, "well can you imagine this, we had 12 people over for dinner on New Years Eve and my husband opened his email and read an email from our Social Worker saying we had been chosen that day but unfortunately the birth mother had decided to keep the baby???

So my initial reaction was "oh my gosh" that is crazy why would they ever tell you this information, why did you need to know this. Could it not have waited for a few days....why would they tell you this on New Years Eve..this just doesn't make sense!?! To be quite honest with you all, I can't really remember what she said next........

After that I really am not sure how I got through the rest of our meeting, the last thing I remember her saying to me is..."well Michelle I guess if you don't have your Social Worker tell you when you are presented..you were most likely presented to the birth mother that choose us"...hmm well I'm not exactly why she bothered saying that to me when she could have saved herself some breath and just punched me in the gut instead..because that is how that entire hour with her felt....EXHAUSTING.........

Well you can just imagine how the rest of my day went...I immediately emailed Terry and then called him to discuss the situation...he listened and tried to calm me down...haha nice try...so then I tried my Mom on for size...yep she did the same...guess what, didn't really work...lol even had my Dad in for a trim...yep you guessed it....I don't think anything or anyone could get me calmed down today....

So by the time I drove home in a freaking blizzard, I felt a bit better! I have repeated the whole "this will happen when it is supposed too" quote about "a million times" (yes Terry a million)!! lol
To tell you the truth, I really wasn't sure what my husband would have ready for me when I arrived home tonight...either a big glass of red wine, or a big white straight jacket (wouldn't blame him really)!!! :)

this too shall pass.....
m

1 comment:

Bri said...

I wouldn't read too much into the whole thing. People identify with others in many different ways. Here is my theory. Either 1) the BM was a bit crazy herself, therefore identified with your coworker or 2) your coworker's profile hides the crazy. You can't argue with the crazies trying to surround themselves with each other and if the profiles aren't an accurate depiction of her, then you can't allow it to get to you! That is me trying to calm you down! :) I hope you feel better soon! Just remember, everything happens for a reason!