Sunday, February 1, 2009

a dream.....

Have you ever awoken with this really nagging feeling that something really big just happened???? You can't really pinpoint what it was but something was changed, you felt differently about things?

Well Sat. morning I woke up and had that weird feeling inside of me....it was early as it always is on Sat morning, I went down for a run and just couldn't figure out what was going on....so I tried to forgot it and started running my little legs off to the beat of my music....(the only thing that gets me through this new interval training, sprint thing that I am trying).........I can hardly believe I have time to think let alone breath while I am doing it!! :) So I finished up my run and was about to jump in the shower and that is when it hit me........my dream, the dream I had had that night........

Now I have no idea what dreams mean, I wish I did in this instance because it was a good one...while I was having it that is....but as I stood there ready to get into the shower my head was filled with the images of this dream and I had to take a seat to get myself together...thankfully it wasn't a complete meltdown, I just needed some time to remember it and contemplate it.......I haven't told anyone about this dream, I kind of feel crazy even writing about it. I have deleted this post many times already this morning. But I really want this whole journey to be here so in years to come I can look back and see all the emotion.

So back to my dream, which I am sure you have already figured out involves a baby....a baby boy actually...I didn't dream about the adoption or the process of getting the baby....it was after all of that I guess..it was just us a family, a family of 3.....our parents and families and friends were around...it was just so...well perfect...
I don't let myself visualize this in "real life" I guess a defense mechanism just in case it never happens....this was the first time I had seen it.....in my dream, and for some reason I can still see it as clear as if it was happening right now.......

While I was sitting on the edge of the tub the dream started coming back to me....I found it remarkable, I wasn't upset...I didn't feel like crying or screaming or being angry...a sense of calm came over me....I continued to think about it as I was getting ready for work...remembering some of the little details...and then I placed in the back of my mind and continued on with my day. I knew I would revisit it again when I had time to really give it the "Moore Mull"!! :)
So that is what I have been doing today.......as I said I wasn't really sure about posting anything about this for fear that people will think I am crazy, thinking that we are now going to get the "call" just because I had a dream about a baby.....believe me I am WAY to logical to think like that....

So after thinking about it today again and giving it more thought, I am really glad that I was able to remember this dream.....it was pleasant and special and has really made me feel.......well calm.......peaceful.....I can't explain it. But whatever it is I am thankful!

m:)

1 comment:

Xazmin said...

I love dreams that invoke emotions that really linger. I'm glad yours brought you a lingering peace.