So last night as I said I went to a function at one of my clients homes. I went with a colleague of mine. Now I have known this lady for many years now. We have chatted on and off about having families and what we wanted to do with our lives!! lol
She and I are the same age, and interestingly enough we have had similar stories when it comes to "reproducing".... well to make a long story short, it's just not gonna happen naturally!! lol
A few months ago we met for a meeting and I asked her if her and her husband had ever considered adoption? She said yes actually we are adopting privately! We are just finishing up our profile our home study is done...etc..etc... Well I couldn't believe my ears we were at the exact some point as they were in the adoption process. Now at the time we chatted for a few hours about our experiences with social workers and making the profile etc. The whole time that day we were talking I was having this really nagging negative feeling from her...I can't really explain it...just that I knew I wasn't that comfortable.
Fast Forward a few weeks and we meet again....as soon as she could talk to me she started on me about the adoption....have you heard anything, have you talked to your social worker, did you know this and that....ahhhh she was driving me crazy. She went on to tell me that she had a "baby's room" all ready and had even bought some clothes??? WHAT??? At that point I knew that we were very different people we were handling this situation very differently. She was actually making me feel guilty for not doing and acting the same way as her......
So last night I had hoped that we would maybe briefly talk about it and then move on....nope WRONG....that is not what happened.....For 2.5 hours I talked about adoption...by the time I got home last night..I was so frustrated...There were times that she was crying and times that she was so angry I thought she was going to throw a fit....hah my little breakdown I had last week......well that was nothing compared to this girl....
She has this ability to say things to me that make me feel very inferior...she told me that there profile had already been presented to a birth mother..they were not chosen mind you...but she immediately followed that remark with so have you guys been presented yet??? My stomach just dropped...I have no idea if we have been presented yet and quite frankly we don't want to know. Somehow I think knowing that you are not chosen would feel a little bit like not being picked for the grade 8 volleyball team....and I don't really want to go through that again!!! lol
So on my way home from the party, I just kept thinking. I know that everything in life happens for a reason. Life just has a way of working out, and I know when the time is right it is going to work out for us too!!!!